First Noel
by Angelus Erreare
Summary: Shin Megami Tensei: DDS The spirit of Christmas isn't about trees, presents or mistletoes. It's the renewal of faith and the rebirth of hope. Serph x Argilla. WARNING: SEMIAU, LANGUAGE, ANGST, LEMON, SADISM, VIOLENCE. COMPLETE!
1. Lost

**First Noel**

**By: Angelus Erreare**

**A/N: Okay. This was my idea of a Christmas-themed fic. Granted, that it doesn't involve cliché Christmas items or whatnot, but I decided to delve within the real meaning of Christmas itself. So, if, by chance, that you guys still don't get the message of this fic, THEN I SUGGEST YOU DO DEEP SOUL-SEARCHING! LOL! **

**Ahem! **

**This was inspired…by my very close friend…a member of my triumvirate…Gabriel. Gabey-pooh, with you…I feel free and loved…You give me endless inspiration and endless love. **

**I also dedicate this to my two favorite friends…**

**Untainted Mind and Fallen Serph; to you guys, this is dedicated to! To you guys who are die-hard fans of the S/A ship! Isa lang ang aking bati sa inyo. Sana magkaroon kayo ng Maligayang Pasko!!! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I only own the characters Azazel, Grigori, Prometheus, Nero and Krishna. **

**WARNING: SEMI-AU, OOC, MILD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE, ANGST, SADISM. **

**NOTE: **

**Not based on game.**

**Based on post-apocalyptic scenario**

**Chapter 1: Lost**

They had been marching that path for a long time now; for as long as they could remember. They had wadded, walked and trudged through that wet, muddy and bloody road for countless of days and nights.

The lands were desolate, arid…The soil was as gray as ash…Just like the malicious and vindictive skies. Their land was set upon decay. And decay was the only thing that flourished. There were no breathtaking sceneries or amazingly profound monuments…No. There, in the Junkyard, the only breathtaking sceneries would be the piles of carcasses and corpses. The only amazingly profound monuments were the remnants of ancient civilizations; ancient civilizations that were brought upon their knees at the pinnacle of their prosperity and success by a divine hand.

The air around them, though it was cool and chilly, always had within its folds the allusion of the stench of blood.

Others would say that their lives were nothing but the exercise of futility but to them, it was their life; it was the life that they had clung to since they had been born. Exercise of futility or not, life was still life.

It was their own.

They had clung to the life, to that wretched existence hoping, ever so hoping that salvation may be at hand…

They had been taught long since they were but mere babes upon their poor mother's bosom that salvation was possible…That it was attainable…

They had been taught that God would not abandon them.

And so, with that gentle and silent promise, they had believed…and had entrusted their lives to faith. They had braved their otherwise pitiful and wretched lives with bright optimism all for the sake of that promise.

And now, now, after countless sunrises and sunsets, the child had become a man. The girl had become a woman.

She blinked as a recalcitrant raindrop dropped on her pink eyes. She wasn't bothered by it. Not anymore; not since she was but a child. The rain and the downpour was something that wouldn't bother her…Not her and not anyone else in the Junkyard.

The rain…It was endless.

There was no sun to behold…but only the cold moon to remind them of their punishment. What punishment was that? That she didn't know.

They were only told that it was the Original Sin.

But whatever it exactly was, continued to elude her.

"Hey! Did you just hear what I just said!?" a gruff voice thundered from beside her.

"Huh? What?" she turned to her side absentmindedly, her pink eyes having that dull hint in them that made the redhead in front of her roll his eyes.

He pointed down the ledge in which they perched themselves, "That!" he hissed at the woman, "That bastard down there! Take him out!"

Remembering who she was and where she was suddenly, she nodded and gripped her sniper rifle tighter, before pressing her eye against the rifle's scope, letting her see her target more clearly.

She felt her blood run cold at the sight of him. Her target…She had studied him for weeks…almost a month.

He was the leader of a rookie faction…

She remembered that so well. She had been entrusted with the elimination of this man…this man with whom she had created a special bond with…This man whom she called her target.

She had seen him in all their battles and skirmishes and had watched his every move. She had come to know of his antics and mannerisms…and had memorized even his facial expressions…

She knew everything there was to know about him…

She saw when he smiled…when he laughed, chuckled…and when he cried. Yes; her target was no different from her or from any other person within their godforsaken land. He had tears to shed just as she did.

But that wasn't what took the cake.

He had people to protect just as she did.

And that was why she was going to kill him.

He had never really exposed himself so openly. That was why she had to study him from afar. She had to find his weaknesses and use that to draw him out.

She smirked evilly.

That was why…

That was why she had taken his youngest son. The foolish boy had gone astray and she couldn't resist the temptation of ending her dreadful assignment of killing this man…this man whom she called her target.

She had taken the boy and had wounded him. She didn't mean to but…She needed to convince the father that she meant business.

She did not harm the boy that greatly; no. Only a cut on the hand. But it was enough so that he bled. Bleeding…blood per se always sent a different message rather just a plain abduction. It would send the parents over the edge…and over to the hands of desperation.

So, now, she was atop the ridge, lying in wait. She had been there for hours…just looking at the boy in front of her. She had had the boy bound and had chained him to the wet and muddy ground the way an angry owner would to their disobedient dog.

Heat had been sent with her as well although she saw no reason for his presence.

'He'd just get in the way…'

This man that she was to kill was important. She then chuckled gravely. _This man_. She always called him that…She knew his name but didn't dare, and not even once, contemplated on uttering such a name…such a label.

No.

To her, he would forever remain that faceless individual. She didn't want to give him names. For if she did, he'd cease to be a mere target for her…He'd be…much more. He'd be a person. And that was folly.

Targets weren't people. They were objects upon the open field that soldiers like her needed to dispose of.

That was all.

She felt her heart stay upon that dead calm that it was known for as she went back to reality. Yes. Assassins such as herself had other enemies other than their supposed targets…They were opposed to their own hearts…

Their hearts were a source of their weaknesses from two perspectives; both from the physical point of view and from the emotional point of view…

It was just natural for a human being's heart to race and quicken at the feel of excitement and extreme stimulation…That quickening of the heart or the lack thereof drew the difference between success and failure; life and death.

She could miss her target…and she would be found out…Aa…and it would be all because of her heart. And her heart's folly from the emotional point of view?

Aa…

That was easily explained.

Her heart provided the doors and windows to a person's emotions and feelings…His or her soul…

Both of which should never be exposed…

Not to anyone.

Never.

And so, she continued to watch her target with her slow-beating dead heart…Aa…There he was…running towards the boy. She smirked.

"There you are…my prey…" she sultrily purred as her finger itched at the trigger, begging its mistress to let it do what it pleased.

The man, this leader of the rookies, had forgotten the danger and had run for the boy…

'Stupid…'

At that moment, as the man neared the child did her heart harden still and there, she took the shot.

The silencer at the end of her rifle had made her kill unvoiced. The long and piercing bullet from her rifle had penetrated the air around them as it zipped through the battlefield. But it wasn't that that had penetrated their souls.

It was the child's scream.

His bloodcurdling scream could be heard from miles around as he saw his father mercilessly shot on the head, right in between the eyes.

Argilla immediately set her rifle on a new target. A moment later, another bullet penetrated the cold air.

Now, though, there was no scream to follow it.

She set her rifle down and stood up, casually removing any dirt that would've clung to her gray uniform. She looked from Heat's nonchalant red orbs to the fallen people below the ridge.

She too had killed the boy. But it was, she deemed, as necessary. To let him live would be…folly.

And she knew that Heat agreed. For if he didn't, he would've told her so. But he didn't. That was the law of the land.

Survival of the fittest.

The strong live and the weak perish.

If she had let the boy live, that boy would grow to be a man…He would've followed his father's footsteps as well…He would've taken up arms and would've hunted her down…He would've killed her.

No.

He wouldn't get that chance.

'He won't…ever.' she thought indifferently.

She looked at Heat once more and saw that he had merely walked away from her, ready to direct the next assault. This was the day that they defeat those incessant maggots.

Now, they were leaderless…

xxxxx

She drunk the last amount liquor within her glass in one go. Who was she kidding…? Even if she had accurately killed her targets…Even if her heart had been dead-slow in its pace…Even if her emotions were almost nonexistent…

They existed within her nonetheless…

And now that she was alone…more alone that she had ever been in her life…she could feel the distant poking and pinching of her aforesaid vexing emotions.

"There you are…" a voice from behind her said.

She closed her eyes. She knew who it was…

She sighed; she and he…had been friends for as long as she could remember…They had lived their childhood together; they had shared in its rare happy times and its sad-filled times…They had stuck by one another through thick and thin, she and he…

Some say that they were destined to be together…

Some say that it was because of their experiences together that made them compatible…

That was why…

That was why she had been his wife and mate for years now. Yes; she had given herself to him. She did not look at another man ever…

They were right; in her eyes. Why would she refuse her friend's affections when he had clearly demonstrated that he would not abandon her? In their world, it was only an action of sheer foolhardy folly and foolishness to discard allies…

And he was an ally to her…wasn't he?

Yes. He was. That was why she had agreed to be his mate…even when she was unsure herself of how she felt about him.

She was a friend to him…yes. But…could they be anything more…other than that? Of course they can! They were made for one another, weren't they? Their parents thought so. Their neighbors thought so. And the whole of their tribe thought so too. Who was she to disagree…?

He had risen far and above what she had expected of him…

Not only had he become a prominent ally in her life, a crucial piece of her survival, but he had also become somewhat of a savior to her…

He had risen upon the highest pedestal of power in their meek little existence. He had come to lead their tribe.

Now, more than ever, she was certain that she had made the right choice when she accepted his proposal…

But now…Even if they were together; as close as a man could be to a woman, she still felt…oh so terribly alone.

Her conundrums, her turmoil…her unrest…he knew nothing of.

She didn't tell him.

'Why would I…? It's my business…' she thought haughtily, 'And if he had been my friend at all…he should know why I'm like this…'

"Yea…" she trailed off lazily, not bothering to look at her mate in his eyes, "What is it…? Do you…have another target for me?" she asked, unfazed and totally intoxicated.

He frowned at her. He was her husband…but at the same time, her friend. He could feel the burden that she had carried on her shoulders for days on end…

He sighed in regret. Why was she being this way…?

When they were still friends, there were no secrets in between them. There was no malice…no malevolence…no nothing. They were the two sides of the same coin…and they were happy.

But now…

It was different.

'Why did you change Argilla? Why?' he asked himself in sadness.

He knew that it had been his fault when his feelings for her had steadily evolved until there came a time that his feelings had transcended all forms of friendship. He had begun to crave her the way a man would crave his wife…

And he didn't see anything wrong in that. He had hoped that it would even bring them closer to one another. That was why he was confident enough to ask for her hand…

He had seen, of course, the flash of utter disbelief and choking astonishment in her eyes as he uttered his words back then. However, he had also seen the flash of practicality and reality in her eyes.

And so, she had accepted.

He didn't know what it all meant back then…But now, he understood.

She had accepted him because she believed that it was the best course of action. From the military point of view, they would make the perfect team…They were both the combination of brains and brawns. Perfect.

But then…she changed.

He should've expected that. But he didn't.

Instead of inching ever closer to him after their marriage and the consummation of their relationship, she began to drift further and further away from him. She began to isolate herself from him…

He didn't want that. Why couldn't she see that he was the same person, the same boy who lived just next-door?

Why was she allowing their marriage to interrupt their long-forged friendship?

'Perhaps…she feels nothing for me…' he thought with utter sadness.

"No." he responded; unfazed.

He watched her nod in condescendence, "Aa…Then…is there something I could do for you Serph?" she asked, her eyes still on her liquor-filled glass.

"I've come to take you home." was his nonchalant reply.

She narrowed her eyes, "I don't want to. You go ahead. I'll be fine."

"You won't. You're heavily drunk." he refuted calmly.

She glared at him at hearing his response, "Listen, I'm not a child. I'm off duty and I don't have to listen to your orders." she said icily, almost bitterly.

He felt a sting in his heart as she looked at him with such hatred…with such malevolence…with such malice…

Why did she hate him so…?

"Be that as it may, I am still your husband. I'm taking you home." he told her firmly, grasping her by the arm, hoisting her up.

She growled, "What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" she yelled in anger, "Let go of me!"

She was creating a scene and she didn't care. She was there, drowning her sorrows because she had to and not because she wanted to. And so, by her logic, she was completely justified in protesting in the removal of herself from the premises.

Serph had nothing to do with the assassination that she had just done. They were his orders yes…But it had been she who had carried them out.

Thus, the burden…the guilt was not on his shoulders but was on hers.

Why couldn't he just understand that?! Why can't he understand that she needed solitude!?

She hissed and snarled and growled and yelled, but nothing could be done to cease her mate's endeavor. He had taken her from the tavern and was now dragging her along the streets, "Damn it Serph! Let go of me! Let go!" she screamed at him as she suddenly found herself within the confines of their room.

Once there, he had let go of her and she immediately fell on the floor.

Serph blinked and knelt down to touch her but she swatted his hands away, "Don't touch me damn it!"

He looked at her sadly. He only wanted what was best for her…He didn't mean any harm…

Argilla's breath became ragged and labored as she continued to sit on the floor, her palms on the tiles, supporting her weight, "Why did you bring me here Serph? I wasn't ready to leave."

"You're drunk."

She rolled her eyes at him and looked at him patronizingly, "Gee, I wonder if it's that obvious. You're a smart one!"

He frowned but ignored her sarcasm, "Argilla…"

She glared at him, "I don't need your help Serph. I could've gone home without you."

Again, he ignored her, "Why were you drinking that much? I asked the bartender and I found out that you were having your third bottle."

She turned away from him, "You wouldn't understand."

He sighed and sat beside her. He came closer to her and touched her chin in his fingers affectionately. She swatted them away but he held on, turning her face to meet his.

Their eyes met.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked painfully.

Argilla wanted to strangle him. Him!? What had _she_ done!? No! That wasn't the question! What had _he_ done!? That was the question! The nerve of him, turning the tables on her!

"Why are you making everything difficult for me?"

She growled and pried his hand from her face, "I'm making things difficult am I? Then maybe you should let me go!"

He leaned back as he heard her words. His silver eyes dilated in pain before returning back to their original size, "I…I see…"

He understood what that meant…and that moment of comprehension, broke his already cracking heart.

He cast his head down and spoke slowly, "I'm sorry…I thought that…if you became my mate, that…we could be closer…" he paused as he sighed, "I'm still your friend…I had not changed. You can tell me…anything you want."

Argilla's heart got caught up in her throat but she could not bring herself to speak. So he knew.

"I didn't know…that I made you feel…this way. Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, raising his head so that his eyes met hers.

Why indeed?

She looked at him with dead fisheyes, "Because it was the best course of action. Sir." she deadpanned unfeelingly.

Another jab of pain eroded his chest as he listened to her sharp words. He looked at her poignantly, "I…I see. Then…" he paused and cast his head down before having the courage to look back at her in her eyes, "Then I…I shall assign new quarters for you."

Argilla's pink eyes dilated at that. He was…? Was he doing what she thought he was doing?

"I'll terminate the paperwork…So, you don't have to worry about that. You just…focus on what you want to do next. I'll take care of the rest."

"Serph…"

He shook his head, "You can move out in twelve hours; at least. Or…you can remain at the infirmary until I finish your relocation. Or you can stay here until then. Whatever works with you is fine." he told her as calmly as he could, not an ounce of emotion lacing his words…

But she knew.

She knew that it was a blatant hoax as his eyes betrayed what his words and spirit attempted to hide. She knew because she had been his friend…

He then stood up, "You're off duty, correct? Then I had best be leaving."

Before she could utter her response, he had already gone. She narrowed her eyes at the metallic doors, "Good riddance…"

She had had enough of this life. This life had done nothing but back and corner her against a wall with no chance of escape. It had made her into a killer. It had made her into a parasite; yes she was a parasite to Serph. She married him for the benefits that he could bring her. That was the sole reason and not because they had a love affair…or anything remotely resembling that.

This life of hers…had given her nothing but garbage upon garbage of choices. Her career was filled with bloodshed and guilt…while her personal life, her married life, the supposed escape that she could use against the ghosts and phantoms of her sins committed from her crimes on the battlefield was even more of a mess…

She regarded him as a friend while he regarded her as a lover…Their setup worked for a while…But when her guilt had decided to engulf her and her killings had taken its toll on her, it was then she began to realize of what a life she had thus far led.

On one side, she was…

A killer. A cold-blooded murderer.

And on the other side, she was a person who played charades. A parasite.

A child playing pretend. _They_ were playing pretend…

Well, she can't pretend any longer.

She picked herself up from the floor and made for the closets. She opened them and looked at her belongings. Well, there wasn't a point to remaining here. Serph had made himself perfectly clear. She had best gather her things.

'I can't wait to get out of here…' she thought. It wasn't that Serph was an inadequate lover…or was he an unfaithful mate…

It was just that…

She shook her head.

'…We're just friends…Aren't we Serph? I just…I just don't know what I feel about you. This is…this isn't right. I don't want to keep lying to you…or to myself. Right now, I know I have to be alone. I can't see you right now…'

As her thoughts drew to a close, so did her heart close upon her feelings towards her husband and mate…

"I'm tired of this life."

She reached for her clothing and hurled them on their bed; she had to prepare ASAP.

xxxxx


	2. Contingency

**A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.**

**WARNING: OOC, LANGUAGE, LEMON, WAFF, FLUFF.**

**Chapter 2: Contingency **

It had been a whole week now. The news had spread throughout Muladhara like wildfire…The Silver Fox had lost his mate and was alone. The Silver Fox had been dealt a swift, sudden and strong blow.

His mate had deceived him. His mate had abandoned him. Everything was upside down. What was to become of Muladhara?

She laughed bitterly. Clearly, the gossip and rumors demeaned her…but they meant nothing to her. People could think what they will…That was all they were all good for; to suspect and speculate on anyone and everyone who would tickle their fancy.

And she, the Silver Fox's mate, was no different.

'Ex-mate…Ex.' she thought with deadly accuracy.

She drank the glass' contents without hesitation. Again, she found herself within the tavern, drowning her burden within the liquor's murky waters…

"There you are."

Argilla felt a vein in her head pop at the sound of the voice. Didn't he know what the word 'divorce' meant!? Was he going to trouble her again!?

With burning anger, she sharply turned around, "What the fuck do you-?!"

She blinked in surprise and paused.

She was met with a grin instead, "This seat taken?"

She shook her head, "No. Sit." she told him.

"What do you want?" she asked; irritated at the redhead.

"I heard the news."

She snorted, "Where were you man? That happened ages ago…"

"I was on the field. I only returned today."

She nodded and continued to stare at her glass, "Aa…Then, why have you decided to speak to me then? And right after your dismissal from the tribunal at that. Don't tell me that you want a piece of the gossip?" she asked him in a patronizing voice.

Her teammate laughed, "Gossip? Get your ass off your high horse woman."

She laughed back, "Oh? Am I wrong? I'm sorry…I'm surprised that you want no gossip. Most especially, when everyone else does." she finished as she looked at him square in the eyes, smirking.

He snarled and suddenly grabbed her wrist, squeezing it. She yelped but he did not relinquish his hold on her and hissed, "Listen. The whole of Muladhara doesn't know what happened between you and Serph. Gossip? Get over yourself Argilla…Frankly, they wouldn't give a rat's ass if you suddenly choked on the sidewalk and died. What matters to them is what happens to their leader; their protector."

She said nothing but was frozen with astonishment at the honesty and the accuracy of his painful words.

"And right now, with this divorce, they are concerned that you had smacked Serph a deathblow. Don't you ever think of anything else besides yourself!? Are you that selfish?" he asked her.

She growled; how dare he!?

"Who are you to pass this judgment to me Heat?! Who!?" she asked, hissing angrily at him, "You know nothing about Serph and I! You don't know jack shit about me!"

He suddenly let go and leaned back, "You're right. I don't. But I do know that your little exploit had damaged the very foundation of this shit-hole that you and everyone else here calls home." he paused as he laughed, "The prick is lonely without you. You really cut deep into him."

She froze. What was Heat saying?

"He's completely distracted…And it's because of you woman."

Argilla had had enough; she stood and looked down at him coldly, "You're wrong. Serph is distracted because he chooses to be. Not because of me. We're soldiers Heat. He just has to deal with it."

He stood as well, "And you? I suppose you can't deal with this bitch of a life that you decided to bail. Just leave and run eh?"

She cursed herself but she would never allow him to see it.

She ignored him and walked away.

Just because she and Serph had broken up didn't mean that she didn't need to fulfill her duties. Her pink eyes hardened and blazed with determination.

She had another target.

xxxxx

Her eyes widened and her muscles tightened in anticipation as her target came to view…She had been waiting within the debris for hours…And within each second, each minute of every hour, she could feel the onset of hypertension and apprehension reach a new high in her system.

Her target was taking his sweet time that day…

Her finger was itching to take the shot; any shot!-just so that she may relieve herself off the strain that was pervading her body.

She needed a release…and what a release it would be when she finally pulls that trigger…and see her long and piercing bullet imbed itself within her target's soft and vulnerable flesh…

She licked her lips in gross anticipation.

Aa…what a sound it would be to hear her bullet, the messenger of death, zip through the calm air…What a sound it would be to hear the distant cracking of his skull as her ammunition penetrates his head's flimsy defense…

Aa…what a release it would be to watch him wriggle involuntarily as his nerves and his neurons fail to register that their command center, his brain, had already been compromised…

She knew…though, that it was wrong…

It was a demonic thing to think this way…or to feel what she felt. But she couldn't help it. It was painful to hear and it was disturbing to her soul…but it was that demonic and sadistic feeling that would save her…and sustain her for another day.

She wanted to be unfeeling towards her targets…and she was. They weren't people to her. They were objects who bleed. They were entities without faces, without souls, that wriggle and writhe in "pain" as they meet their demise.

And so, by that justification, it was fine to gaze upon their corpses…and relish in the feel and the realization of their demise under her hands.

It was just her recalcitrant heart that that was the problem. That was why she drank and drowned her woes. Her heart would awaken her so-called conscience and tell her that she had been wrong…

Again, a conflict within her would ensue and another battle would take place. It was her sadistic side begging for release and salvation…and it was her human side, begging for forgiveness and redemption.

So different and yet the same…Two sides of the same coin. It was a burden that no one else would ever come to know of; a burden which she alone would continue to carry…until her very last breath.

She let out a frustrated breath, "Why are you keeping me waiting my sweet…?"

Gale was the one who arranged this for her. It had been he who had given her the target. Her target was an older man…He was a rookie recruiter. Aa…Another source of the problem.

Why?

Because he was in league with the Wolves.

Her target occupied quite a post within the Wolves tribe; an allied nation…That was why the Embryon could do nothing. Their truce was a very delicate thing…and this, their accusation of a member of their ally to be a double agent would be disastrous…

She didn't know why this person would be recruiting rookies though…For what purpose?

Well, that wasn't her job. Her job was to take him out. That was all.

Her right eye dove for her rifle's scope and waited for the chance to strike…He had been a cautious one…this new target of hers…He wouldn't expose himself fully. Only glimpses of him could be seen. She chuckled within evilly, 'You cannot hide there forever…' she thought; purring.

'And when you step just one foot out of there…You will be mine…'

She growled as the target went inside once more; almost as if he heard her.

'Damn!'

The rain was assiduous and was unrelenting…making her already muddy uniform soaked wet and cold.

But she allowed none of those feelings to reign her body. No. That would be weakness.

"Hey babe."

She cursed and made to move when she heard the clicking of a gun…and the cold slap of metal against the back of her head.

"That's right babe. Don't move a muscle."

She gritted her teeth; she had been caught.

xxxxx

She groaned as she felt for the back of her head. There was a throbbing pain.

'Damn…' she thought with disdain. She had been caught. She laughed bitterly to herself. This was the most damning of situations that she had ever been…

And most likely, this would be the last of such experiences…or any experiences in life for that matter.

It wasn't secret and was in actuality, a blatant and barefaced fact that snipers and spies who get caught…rarely come back home…alive.

They were rarely seen again. And when found? It would be nothing but a bag of their putrid carcasses.

'Like a common animal…' she hissed in disgust but then it gave way to laughter, 'No! It's worse! This fate…is worse than animals…'

She looked around but saw only an eternal black; eternal darkness…

She sighed as she felt that she was sitting on the floor. She frowned though as her thoughts meandered over to more practical matters rather than just self-pity. Why was she captured anyway?

She was but a mere sniper…What would they have against her?

She gasped suddenly as it hit her like one of her speeding bullets.

'Serph…!' she thought as her heart skipped a beat in poignant articulation. 'They're…'

"You're right." a male voice cut in the cool air. She cursed and shielded her eyes from the light as its traitorous rays invaded her quaint little cell.

But even more so, she cursed because…

"You're a bright one." the man said as he chuckled, "This is about Embryon's leader."

She hated herself a bit more. So she had spoken her husband's name.

'Ex-husband damn it!' she mentally corrected herself.

"What do you want with me?" she asked, growling, willing her body to stand…but it wouldn't obey her commands and instead, just slumped forward…

Again, the man chuckled, "Aa…Don't do that. You're paralyzed."

She hissed but said nothing.

"It's just a little something to help you sleep…" said the deep voice of the man patronizingly.

"Ugh." she groaned, "What…the fuck do you want with me prick?!" she hissed angrily, locking her strong willed gaze upon the unknown man's golden eyes.

He chuckled, "As of now…Nothing."

"…" She didn't buy it. Who would? 'Only retarded buffoons…' she thought condescendingly.

"Right now, you're just going to make like a good little bitch and sit tight."

She growled as she saw the man turning to leave; this was her chance! "If you're thinking about getting to the Silver Fox…then you can forget it! He'd never come to get me!"

That was a fact. And what was more was that her identity had always been kept hidden. She had been the slayer in the eternal twilight; no soul could ever know her name…or her face. She killed silently and effectively…and would disappear right along with the shadows and darkness that had spawned her.

By day, she was "Pink Bunny", the Silver Fox's beautiful and alluring mate…harmless and protected. But by night, she was Embryon's master sniper…deadly and accurate.

That was why she was curious. What made them think that she had any ties with Serph anyway…?

She let out a frustrated growl as she was met with the blinding darkness once more, her question gone unanswered.

xxxxx

She stood as she felt footsteps near her cell. She clenched her hands into fists and steeled herself for the upcoming audience with her captor.

It had been just a few hours since their last meeting…

She was met once more with golden rays of light…and the ever piercing golden eyes of her captor, "So…You are the one eh?" he chuckled.

"What the fuck are you talking about!?"

"I had been told that you were a sniper…But I didn't know that you were Embryon's master sniper."

She shrugged her shoulders; she couldn't care any less about labels.

"So, you were the one who assassinated Azazel of the Maribels…and Grigori of the Brutes. And let's not forget about Prometheus…Nero…and your latest kill, Krishna from the rookie faction."

She rolled her eyes, pretending that she didn't care.

So…he had uttered their names…Didn't he know how hard she worked so that she may never hear their names…? Those names…gave her victims identities…

'Identities they weren't supposed to have…' she thought with a heavy heart.

"I've nothing to do with those people." she said proudly.

'Admit nothing…deny everything…'

That was her mantra.

"There isn't a need for modesty…" he said silkily as he strode closer to her, making Argilla clench her hands tighter, consequently making the chains on her wrists clank noisily.

And then…finally, they met face to face, his face no longer hidden by the shadows.

She suddenly wanted to burst out laughing.

It was her target! So, he was the one behind all of this irritating pseudo mystery game.

Oh man…

"So…here you are…" she purred, momentarily forgetting that it was her life that was in her target's hands and not the other way around. She found that irony overly hilarious though.

A killer's life hanging within her victim's hands…How comedic can fate really be?

"And here _you_ are…" the man purred back, leaning towards her lecherously.

She looked at him intently, noting all of his features.

She was met with a middle-aged man…His wrinkles at the edge of his eyes were visible…and his hair was the typical short hair of a marine. But it was beginning to become gray…His eyes, his golden eyes lacked the vibrancy of every young man and gave a hint of exhaustion…and experience. But his body was anything but middle-aged. He kept fit.

But then again…she already knew that about him.

"You were the one sent to kill me." he deadpanned with a small smile, his face totally amused. "That's why I had you captured. I want to know who it was that had been foolish enough to take this assignment."

She didn't want to listen to this bastard though.

"I just didn't expect that the Embryon would send their best sniper to dispose of me." he chuckled.

"So, this was all a setup." she said, drawling, "You drawing me out here…hoping that I draw you out into the open…just for the hopes of getting you a personal interview with me?!" she asked with impudent boldness, incredulity apparent in her syllables, laughing.

So it was…They had picked a location for their meeting that was obviously advantageous for her…expecting her to occupy that perch; that perch that they had picked out for her. This whole thing…was to just capture her. They chose to hold that meeting at that semi-open place…just because they knew every crook and cranny of the terrain, giving her an unknown disadvantage.

The man chuckled back, "With all things aside, including your misplaced humor, the answer to your question is a 'yes'. I've known for days now that I've been shadowed. I wanted to know who you were…and perhaps to know who in the Embryon had wanted my death. Having that knowledge…would be advantageous to me."

"In inciting a war between the Wolves and the Embryon." she spat venomously.

He chuckled but said nothing.

A moment later, he continued, "But seeing that you are their best of their best…then, I dare assume that it was the Silver Fox who put you up to this, no?" he turned his back to her, "Politics is such a messy business…isn't it Master Sniper?"

Argilla breathed in evenly; not having an ounce of change within her even as he spoke his provoking words. She was overwhelmed at seeing him, for sure, but she wouldn't let him know that.

And he was mistaken. Serph had not given her this assignment; it was Gale. But again, she wouldn't let him know that.

He turned back to her with a silly grin on his face, noting with great appreciation the lack of her response. His middle-aged hand came up to caress her face and she turned her head sideways. He laughed, "I didn't know that Embryon's master sniper could be so…young…and delectable."

She turned to him sharply and sneered, "Yea. You wouldn't think that, would you? Most especially when you're just some balding aging man!"

The man leaned to her and she let him, not letting her disgust reign her. No; it would be weakness.

"How long has it been since you have been fucked?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Pig…!" she exclaimed.

The man drew back and laughed, "I suppose that it has been that long…"

She growled, "You just try fucktard and I'll rip your testicles from you and I'll shove them so hard up your asshole that you'll be begging for me to slit your throat…!" she threatened.

The man said nothing but continued to laugh, before walking away, "You entertain me master sniper. I'm not disappointed in the least."

Before she could question him further, he had already gone.

She anger slowly gave way into mellowed irritation as her mind entertained the pig of a man's question. When was the last time she had made love…?

Without having her mind to think, her heart spoke…

'The night before I…The night before I departed to take out that rookie leader…'

She shut her eyes tightly as she remembered that night…much to her protesting mind's scream and yells.

Flashback

"_Hey. You okay?" he asked her, holding her hand in his, his eyes twinkling at hers. _

_She snapped out of her daze and gazed at him, "Huh?" She didn't even realize that she was within their room, sitting on their bed with him beside her. _

"_Oh. I'm fine." _

_She heard a chuckle. She turned to his direction and quirked an eyebrow, "What's so funny?" _

_He smiled at her, "You always do that when…you're thinking." _

_She blinked, "Do what?" _

"_That." he said gently, nodding, with a small smile playing on his lips. _

_She was getting irritated. She had a mission tomorrow that she needed to prep for! It wasn't just about bringing your rifle and making sure it was loaded…Or cleaning it or inspecting it for defective parts…_

_Oh no. Preparations were tedious. _

_When she went on that mission, she had to be prepared in both heart and soul; body and mind. And right now, Serph wasn't helping her cause. _

"_You're doing it again." _

_She frowned, "Doing what?" she asked confusedly. _

_He smiled and touched her face affectionately, "You always…pout like that, with your eyes…being narrowed. You look…cute." he finished. _

_She opened her mouth to speak and question his patronizing tone when she found his lips on hers, silencing her…_

_Her words died in her mouth as his tongue invaded her wet and silky cavern. She felt her body relinquish its tension-filled countenance and leaned forward…towards the direction of her husband…_

_He caught her in his arms momentarily before gently placing her to be on her back, against the firm mattress. _

_She shivered a bit in a feeling of vague awkwardness as her best friend, now her husband, slowly unwrapped her from the bonds of her uniform. _

_But no matter how awkward and confusing things were, she deemed that she needed this…This…this, whatever it was that they were doing. She needed this escape…she needed this release. For when the sun rose, she would depart and brave the world of blood and corpses once more…And she would brave it alone; without him. _

_She closed her eyes and held the faceless man against her, tighter, as his lips found her neck, his hands caressing the soft and sensitive flesh of her breasts. _

_Yes. He was faceless to her. He just had to be faceless…! For if he didn't…then…_

'…_then I'd know that I'd never get to do this with you…' she thought with slight regret and sadness. _

_Yes; she hadn't forgotten. He was a friend first and a husband second…and as a lover…? _

'_Never…!' she thought which ended in her squealing in twisted and unwanted delight as his lips found her erect peak._

_That was the way she felt…_

_If she had given him a name…a face…she knew that she would vomit…It was a disgusting sight to behold. _

'_Like having sex with your brother…!' she thought bitterly. _

_And so, having a pure white canvas for a husband and lover, she let herself indulge into the world of unexplainable and inescapable pleasure within his arms. _

_She moaned uncontrollably as she felt him enter her world…in a painfully slow manner. She couldn't help but protest. _

"_Oh…oh god…You…you're too…" she couldn't get the words from her lips…They wouldn't come to her; her mind was a jumble and nothing made sense. _

"_Too what?" asked her husband in a silky manner. _

"…_Oh god…! You're too slow…!" _

_She squealed in frustration as she opened her eyes to see him smirking at her. She hated it when he did this…Making her beg…_

_She didn't want to say his name…No; anything but that…! _

"_Argilla…" _

_He was saying her name in that sensuous tone…He was doing it again…He was seducing her…_

_Her eyes widened as his pace within her began to speed up…Her passion was steadily heightening…! _

_Only for it to plummet once more as his pace became lax and complacent. _

_Now, her self-control had snapped. _

"_Serph…!!" _

_There. She screamed his name. _

_She heard a chuckle; she knew that that was what he wanted to hear. He wanted his name to pass through her luscious lips desperately. _

_She was glad though that he had kept his promise…_

_Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist as he dove within her even deeper and harder still, forcing her to buck her hips as she fought long and hard to keep up with him. _

_She kept her eyes tightly shut…No; she didn't want to see him…_

_And then, like the transient angel, their nirvana had materialized for them to behold in pure awe. _

"_Argilla…!" she heard him moan as he released himself within her._

"_Oh…god…!" she screamed._

_Did he hear that she did not reciprocate his passionate calling…? Maybe…maybe not. _

_He fell on her gently and she remained perfectly still, neither moving her arms and hands to support him nor move them away as if she were disgusted. She remained…perfectly still. _

_He got off of her a moment later and held her gently; protectively within his strong arms and whispered into her ear, "…I love you." _

_She said nothing in return. _

End Flashback

She narrowed her eyes in the darkness.

Was that…the way it really was between them…? She didn't know why, but at that thought, at the thought of that sheer aloofness and awkwardness, she couldn't help but repress a painful pang in her heart.

And as to the exact reason why, she didn't know…

'Serph…I'm sorry…'

She didn't know, did she? That was a farce. Of course she knew. She was feeling the human emotion of guilt.

Yes; now…she felt guilty. Had she really been that way with him…?

xxxxx

It had been two days and one night…since her unexpected stay. She sighed; what did they hope to achieve?

A visage suddenly came to her.

Her heart skipped a beat.

It was…him. Again.

'Serph…' she thought with a painful choke as her heart skipped a beat.

'What the hell are you doing bitch!?' a loud voice thundered from within her. She cursed herself. It was right. She shouldn't be thinking of him! Not again! She had thought of him enough!

She couldn't afford to have slipups!

Those pricks stalking her were probably gathering information…

They'd just have another card to use against her if they manage to convince themselves and her that Serph was a weakness…

She hung her head low. She shouldn't think of him…She shouldn't utter his name…Not in the least…

But then again…his visage, no matter how tightly she closed her eyes, refused to leave her.

She saw his smile…heard his rare chuckle…

'Yea…I remember that…when we were assigned with that scouting mission…'

Flashback

"_Hey look!" Argilla exclaimed, pointing to the road in front of her, down the hill in which she stood. She turned to see her best friend's twinkling smile…and his sparkling silver eyes. _

_She snorted, "Stop that! You look really stupid when you do that!" _

_He blinked, "Do what?" _

_She rolled her eyes. _

"_You're so stupid!" _

End Flashback

She did not allow her face to display the emotions that she felt…but it did not mean that she didn't feel them. On the contrary.

She laughed a heartfelt laugh within her heart as she reminisced. Yes; she really hated it whenever Serph would do that…

Do what?

'Do that freaky thing with his eyes!' she thought with a silly grin, 'Yes…When he'd…when he'd enlarge those bug-eyes of his and make them seem as if he was going to cry!'

She wanted to burst out laughing at that memory…

But she didn't. She kept her memories within her. She was the only one allowed to enjoy them. And those pricks from the other side of her cell could just spend the rest of their lives watching her; but they'd never get anything out of her.

Now, where was she again?

Flashback

"_Bah!" she exclaimed exasperatedly, "Just come on will you?! I gotta show you something!"_

"_Alright…If you say so…" he said in a defeated manner. _

_She ignored him and just ran forward, looking back and forth from his slow-moving form to what it was that she wanted to show him. _

_She growled as she saw that he was as slow as a zombie. She quickly bounced up to him and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him across the wet and muddy ground. The two proceeded up the hill and she pointed downwards, "Look at that Serph! It's a hot spring!" _

_He blinked as he took a look at her findings. His eyes went to and fro from the small formation of water to his best friend who had nothing but the painted expression of pride and astonishment in her eyes and lips. _

_His hand left hers and went down to inspect the spring. He stopped as he heard her chilling voice, "Take a dip in that spring and you're dead."_

_He turned to look at her with a perplexed demeanor, "What?" _

_She huffed, "I call it! It's my spring! I found it and I should keep it!" she said defiantly; proudly, clearly forgetting the concepts of legality and tribal jurisdiction. _

_He made a sour face and wrinkled his nose. He stood from where he knelt and walked away from her._

"_W-what?! Where are you going?!" she asked with disbelief as she watched him walk away. What was he doing!? Wasn't her spring good enough for him to contend against her for?! _

_She ran to him, "Hey!" _

_He stopped and looked at her with a bored expression, "You can have your spring." _

_She raised an eyebrow, "And why would I!?" _

"_W-why…!?" he asked in total disbelief. Did she just have any idea of what she was doing…!? Of what she was saying!? Would she just make up her mind?! First she wanted the spring and now she didn't? _

_Oh well. It was just her. Argilla Lesson 101. She wanted something when someone else had it. Or, in this case, she didn't want what she had because he wasn't interested. _

_He slumped his shoulders in disbelief and looked at her eyes; she was deadly serious… _

_She glared at him. His gestures were insulting! With him looking at her the way he did…_

'_He's humoring me!?' she thought with a yell. _

_The nerve of this man! How dare he fail to appreciate the magnanimous beauty of her small spring?! It was small…quaint…and probably deep and big enough for two people! _

'_And to think that I was going to share it with him too!' she thought angrily. _

"_Argilla, you can have your spring. I won't take a dip in it. It's all yours." he said. _

_She raised a skeptic eyebrow, "R-really?" _

_He nodded and continued to walk. _

_She smiled at him. She then squealed as she turned back to her spring and ran for it when suddenly, his voice stopped her dead in her tracks. _

"_Oh and by the way; that isn't a spring." _

_She froze; it wasn't!? _

"_That's a puddle." _

End Flashback

'So it was a puddle.' she thought; finally admitting her defeat after passing so many years.

'So what? Anyone could make the same mistake! I mean…it looked so much like a…'

She slumped her shoulders, 'For Christ's sake…Ugh…I think that Serph is right. I can be…silly.'

Yes; he would always call her silly when they would laugh and make merry at something foolish that she had done…

Well…those were the days. That was…almost ten years prior. She sighed; time really did fly. Didn't it?

She suddenly had the mind to slap herself. Why was she thinking about Serph!? Again?! Couldn't she think of anything else?!

'Like how to get out of here…!'

Nope. Nothing. It was all a blank.

'Ugh…I'm bored.'

Was it really boredom that had prompted her to pour her thoughts unto a certain silver-eyed man?

She held her breath, berating herself mentally.

She didn't want to answer that question.

xxxxx

"Serph…I implore you to reconsider."

Serph didn't listen. He didn't want to. He continued to furrow his eyebrows as he loaded his trusty handgun.

"Listen to the old man. There is already the dispatched taskforce to find her. You don't need to-"

The redhead and the green-haired man froze on their spots as they were met with their leader's silver orbs, "I will find her myself." he said with a tone of finality.

"And if you get your ass blasted back to the Stone Age?" scoffed Heat, "What the fuck is gonna happen to Muladhara!?"

Serph stopped what he was doing and looked from Gale's stoic gaze over to Heat's sneering countenance. "Any one of you is fit to replace me. You, Gale and Cielo…any one of you three can replace me…if I don't make it." he said steadfastly, his eyes steely.

The two were stupefied. Serph…really was serious.

"I've already prepared the documentation stating whom I've recommended to replace me…in the event of my death."

Again, the two were speechless.

Seeing that he was ready, Serph walked towards the door and froze as he heard Heat's sneering voice, "You'd go this far for this woman…who just dumped your ass like a hot potato?"

Serph narrowed his eyes into slits but nonetheless said nothing before altogether walking out of the room.

'I'd find you…' he thought with conviction, 'Even if it kills me, I'll save you.'

xxxxx

"Hmph!" she sneered, "You're wasting your time! He wouldn't expose himself for me!" she yelled as she sat on a chair, facing her captors.

She looked from left to right. There were three people in front of her. The two who flanked the man in the middle were having pale skin…No; they weren't from the Wolves.

The man, who was her target chuckled, "Do not concern yourself over that issue for now…We are confident that the Silver Fox will show, yes?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know where you're gathering your intelligence work from, but I'm telling you…the Silver Fox would never leave his den. Not for a lowly sniper like me." she said bitterly, her eyes boring holes onto the man's face.

"In case you've forgotten, people like me are expendable." she said icily, not realizing that she had just laced her words with bitterness; a folly on her part.

"Aa…yes. Spies and covert ops soldiers such as yourself are often expendable. But…you are an exception my dear." the man spoke silkily, sending shivers down Argilla's spine.

"He would come for you. Oh he would. He would."

"What makes you think that?" she asked; bluffing. Her heart was beginning to race but she kept her face calm and her posture steady and proud. She was steeling herself for the man's answer…

"You're his mate, aren't you?" he asked, chuckling.

She laughed right along with him, "Oh man…How much pot have you been smoking?! Do you really think that the Silver Fox would allow his mate to expose herself the way I expose myself on the battlefield?" she asked, her bluff reaching a new high.

'How the fuck did this bastard know!?'

"Aa…" the man trailed off, "Come now Pink Bunny. There is no need for this charade. There is no use in trying to hide the truth from me…I know."

She flinched as she heard her supposed nickname roll off his tongue.

"Know what?" she challenged, gathering as much information from him the way he did about her.

"It's a shame though…I've heard of your divorce with the man…" he then stood. Argilla's heart felt caught up in her throat, "He's quite devastated I hear."

Here, she laughed again, "Hehe…I didn't know you were quite the gossiping type."

He smiled tightly, "You may be surprised at what sorts of intelligence reports those 'gossips' can bring you."

She frowned but said nothing. She hadn't forgotten her mantra. She would admit nothing and deny everything.

The man walked out of her cell and stopped at the door, "Oh and…don't think that he won't come. He will."

"Oh? And why is that?" she asked.

"He'll do anything to have you back."

She blinked; did she just…hear him…correctly?

'H-how…would he know that?!' she asked, her cheeks blushing as she thought of the concept of Serph actually breaking the conventional rules and actually coming to rescue her.

But then again, she shook her head.

'You had better not Serph.' Yes. No matter how thrilling the notion was to her, she just couldn't let him do that. It was wrong.

'If you do…You'll be prey out there Silver Fox…'

xxxxx


	3. Loyalty

**A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.**

**WARNING: OOC, FOUL LANGUAGE, PARTIAL NUDITY, SUGGESTIVE THEMES, VIOLENCE, SADISM.**

**Chapter 3: Loyalty **

She shivered as she felt cold water be splashed onto her entire body. She gasped awake.

"Get up." a voice said.

She narrowed her eyes, "Or what?"

"Or I'll break your legs."

"…" Gritting her teeth, she did as she was told.

It was her fourth day staying there.

For the first three days and three nights, they had done nothing to her and had just let her be. But now…she just wasn't so sure.

A moment later, she found herself seated.

"Hey!" she hissed as a guard grabbed her non-too-gently, giving her the impression that he had groped her a bit in the process.

"Damn bastard…" she cursed under her breath.

A moment later, she was met once more, with the leader of her captors. Again, a silhouette was what greeted her. She couldn't resist the temptation of rolling her eyes, "Aren't you getting tired of that effect?"

"Pardon me?" asked the man.

She snorted, "Why don't you show me your face chicken shit?"

He chuckled, "What for? You already know what I look like…considering that I was your target in your last mission, yes?"

She spat, "Tch. So what do you want with me today fucktard?"

Her sneering demeanor quickly turned to anger as she was met with nothing but mocking silence, "You're not going to get anything out of me bitch! The Silver Fox would never come for me! And you know it! So why don't you just cut to the chase and kill me damn it?! Instead of wasting everyone else's precious time!?" she barked; completely oblivious to her precarious situation.

Oblivious?

No; that was a mistake.

'I don't…care what they do to me. I'm sick of this game.'

She gasped, totally knocked from her own thoughts, as she felt herself being restrained. Her muscles flexed and her joints locked, getting ready to struggle and she suddenly found herself being bound on her wrists and being hoisted to a standing position and then hung upon a hook that dangled right above her, placing her in the middle of the room. Her legs had knocked off her chair in the process as she dangled helplessly for all to see.

She narrowed her eyes into slits.

"What's this? Torture?" she sneered, "You are too full of yourself…" she snorted at the man in front of her, who still insisted on hiding his face.

"What are you going to do?" she asked him, taunting him.

"You are going to answer my questions…"

"If you think that I'll cooperate then you're-"

She gasped as she felt herself being stripped, "You…you fucking bitch!" she screamed as she felt the sting of a slap of the chilly air in the room on her back and shoulders. Her jacket had been torn from her, leaving her only in her corset.

"Aa!!" she yelled as she felt her skirt torn off.

Her hair began to stand in one end as felt a breeze pass through in between her exposed legs.

"Very nice…" she heard the man say sultrily, appreciating the view of her almost naked countenance.

"G-get away from me!" she growled dangerously.

"I don't think so Pink Bunny…But I do see now why the Silver Fox is so taken with you…" he told her, looking her up and down.

She made a disgusted face. She may not be able to see his face fully, but she saw how his golden eyes shimmered and shone mischievously.

"You must have been a great fuck for him, yes?"

She snarled and then smirked, "Why…? Jealous?"

The man laughed, "Hardly. If I really wanted to, there's nothing that could stop be from fucking you left, right and center, yes?"

She hated to admit it; but he was right.

"Just get on with your damn questions fucktard!"

"Very well. There had been reports of the construction of missile test sites the previous week. Where are those new ballistic missiles of yours being tested?"

She laughed, "How the fuck should I know!? I'm not a rocket scientist bitch!" she finished with utter irritation.

"Argh!" she screamed as she felt the intense sting of pain on her back. She slumped forward, her feet giving way. She furrowed her eyebrows together, 'They're…trying to break you…! Steady girl! Steady…!!' she mentally repeated, remembering her training at the academy; remembering that these were the situations that she had been trained for.

"Where are those test sites!?"

"Fuck you!" she yelled defiantly.

Again, they had hit her on her back; the distinct sound of the whips slapping the thin and cool air. She staggered to her feet, controlling her body, willing it to cooperate.

'Steady…!' she screamed at herself.

"I ask you again! Where are those sites and when does the Silver Fox intend to ship them out!?"

"I…already told you! I don't fucking know!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, "Argghhh!!" Again, she felt the whips hit her back; hitting her sensitive flesh, tearing it deliberately, letting her blood freely ooze from her wounds…

A moment later, her back had been fully exposed…and so was her chest. The whips had torn her corset and it now slipped from her body, revealing to her captors what only Serph had been allowed to thus far witness.

'S-Serph…!!' she moaned as she was repeatedly hit…

Her world had become steadily hazy, her vision becoming thickly veiled as her beating had ensued.

"Ugh…!!' she moaned as she hacked her breath and then, coughing up blood, spitting it on the floor.

"I am this close to breaking your pretty jaw…Why don't you just cooperate?"

With the last amount of strength in her body, she gazed up at him, raising her head in a dignified manner, "I'd rather die…than help you get to…Serph…!"

The man was taken aback and then smirked; so it was Serph now was it? No longer using the alias Silver Fox eh?

They knew that she'd warm up to them soon enough; now they just needed to push her a bit more.

"Where are those sites?!"

She laughed, "You can just gut me and kill me…But you'd…never get anything out of me…!"

"Bitch!" the man yelled angrily as he walked over to her, and punched her right on the face, breaking her nose.

Blood flowed out of her nostrils and flowed freely on her face, dripping from her chin and onto her chest.

"Give her ten lashes!"

"Aaah!" she screamed over and over as her back was brutally maimed…and disfigured.

'Serph…! Serph…!'

And in each hit, did she mentally scream her ex-mate's name…

xxxxx

She shivered; it was cold…

There she was, on the cold floor of her cell…

Her hands and legs were bound in front of her…and her face within a black sack. She was blind to all that was around her…but she didn't care.

She was in agony…and every part of her body ached and throbbed.

It had been the same, day in and day out…They would come for her and ask her the questions…but she would never reveal anything to them.

No.

Never.

She would never help them get to Serph.

'Serph…Serph…' she continued to moan as she writhed in pure agony.

Yes…every time that they would subjugate her to such monstrosity, she would endure. She would just…picture his face…

She would just imagine that she wasn't there…and that she had been with him instead.

At that moment, as she realized the painful reality of her life, she sobbed and hugged herself tighter…

She thought of nothing but him…

She imagined the times in her life when life was…happier; gentler than what she was experiencing now.

She imagined her times with her best friend…with Serph…She imagined and envisioned the sacred and secret moments that they had when they were but children…She imagined the times when they had attended the academy…when she was entrusted to his platoon…when he was finally promoted to tribe leader and she was there to support him…

She imagined the two of them from the moment they were but children…to the point when they had become man and woman…

She recollected up to the moment…when he had proposed…

'Serph…' she thought as she moaned in agony.

He was her savior; without him, she would've already broken down…But it was because of him, thinking of him, that bolstered her strength and had became her shield from their forceful battering rams; battering her almost to the point of complete disfigurement…almost to the point of complete deformity.

She sobbed still, forcing her mind to leave her body…and trace back in time…in the different times of her life…Back when it had been…bearable.

Flashback

_She ran excitedly over to his house, knocking on the door. It had been her tenth birthday and she had just passed her exams…Now, she had been given her very own rifle. _

_It was her weapon of choice after all._

_She couldn't wait to tell him. _

"_Argilla?" the twelve year old boy in front of her asked, as he opened the door. _

_She beamed at him, "Hey! Guess what?! I passed today! I'm now a member of Embryon!!!" she squealed happily. _

_The boy raised an eyebrow, his silver eyes peering into pink orbs intently before moving out of the house and grabbing her hand. _

"_Come on!" he hastily told her as he dragged her away from the scene. _

_A few moments later, they found themselves by an old well by the back of their small town of Muladhara. _

"_Congratulations on passing!" he told her with a smile. _

_She blushed and faced the ground, "T-thank you…" _

_She looked up at him suddenly, "Now I get to go with you…! We'll be doing…so many missions together!! I'll get to take out those targets from afar so that they wouldn't get you!" _

_His smile vanished and there, he held her hand, "Argilla…we fight…to protect our families. Not to kill…" _

"_Oh I know that Serph!" she chimed cheerfully, foregoing the real message behind his wise but seemingly empty words. _

_Sure, wise words were always available…and they were nice to listen to. But did people really understand what they entailed? _

_In most of the times, the answer was a 'no'. _

_They listen…but they always fail to incorporate such fine words into their own lives…_

_Serph shook his head and took her in his arms, "Argilla," he began, whispering into her ear, "I go on those missions, not to get targets. It's…to protect you…" _

_She blinked, totally unresponsive to both his embrace and his words. What did he mean? _

"_I don't want those…bad guys…to get you." _

_He pulled away and looked into her eyes deeply, "We fight…for our families. And not…because we want to." _

_She could say nothing; her eyes deeply imbedded on his. _

"_Please…don't forget that."_

End Flashback

She sobbed harder at that. She had almost forgotten about that memory…She hadn't thought about that that it almost seemed surreal for her; like a group of phantasmagoric images…that never really happened.

A false memory.

But now, she realized that it was indeed a memory of her and him. Even then…he had always protected her.

And in that memory, he hadn't protected her body; he had protected her mind and heart. He had kept the lulls of greed and carnage at bay by keeping her heart clean and pure; keeping it courageous but at the same time, compassionate.

She smiled ruefully, 'You've failed Serph…Look at me now…' she thought agonizingly as she remembered how she mercilessly gunned down her targets…never having remorse fly through her thoughts.

Not ever…

At least…not ever until most recently…

Before then, she had never felt any remorse. Killing was her job; it was the only way to survive…And Serph's words…?

'Carried off and scattered into the winds…'

She then asked herself, 'How…could he have loved me…even when knowing of what I was…and what I was capable of doing…of feeling…?'

xxxxx

She stared at the blank and dark space in front of her emotionlessly; what space? Her face was still within that filthy black sack.

She had been there…for almost a week.

She was cold…and broken.

She was tired and beaten.

But she held her ground.

She would never felt those scums of the earth to get to her Silver Fox.

She didn't care.

She didn't care what would happen to her.

And her life…?

This was…this was life; this was fate. She narrowed her eyes. There was no regret to be had should her life suddenly end. Why?

'There's no point in hoping for a life in this God-forsaken place. There's no chance of…prosperity…no chance in affluence…no chance in happiness…' she said with utter bitterness and anger; most especially in the last word.

Happiness. That was unattainable in that hell.

She pressed her forehead against her bent arms, in front of her as they in turn rested atop her knees, from her bent legs and quietly, oh so gently, sobbed.

'God…really has forsaken us…Hasn't He?' she thought painfully.

'What have we done…that was so horrible…? Why are we being punished this way…? Everything here…is just a vast wasteland. Just like our lives. Our lives are nothing but pathetic excuses for the occupation of space!' she thought poignantly.

'Haven't we…been punished enough…?'

She sighed once more as she remembered her captor's last words to her.

She swallowed the lump in her throat in trepidation. Since they had gotten nothing out of her, they had decided to make the tradeoff with Muladhara itself.

She almost laughed at the irony…

The sheer irony of it all.

'The oldest sniper trick in the book…' she trailed off lazily, 'Using bait to lure out the prey…' Aa…the sheer irony of it all was mocking her; staring her in the face…

She had used that before…and now, it was being used on her.

'Someone up there really loves me…' she thought with sarcasm. She sighed again as she thought about her fate…

She was going to be used as a bargaining tool. Her pretty little Bunny head for the Silver Fox's tail.

She had been useless to them as a source of information. And now, the only option…was to use her as a bargaining chip. And what exactly they hoped to accomplish by killing Serph?

'What else?' she thought. 'The complete control of the Junkyard by the Wolves…Embryon wouldn't be able to withstand being leaderless…Morale would go down…making it easy for a planned invasion by them.'

She then smirked; there was no way that it would happen though. It was decreed upon that covert operators such as herself was on her own when caught. There would be no recovery missions to save her. Why? It would expose their central government and get Serph in trouble. No. Soldiers like her did the dirty work.

Besides…

She shut her eyes tightly; there was no way that Serph would save her. Not only would that be breaking the law, but…she had just broken his heart. Why would he help someone who had abandoned him? Someone…who had betrayed him…? Someone who had lied to him and had only used him for the sake of survival and practicality?

She felt horrible then.

A moment later, she smiled bitterly.

Now she knew why happiness was unattainable.

Karma.

Her selfishness…and her ill will towards her ex-mate, had only fueled the weight of her already-overwhelming karmic burden.

'This is…punishment. Isn't it?'

It didn't matter if she had been forced into that situation or not. The only thing that mattered was that she had committed those sins…to her fellowmen, to Serph…and to herself.

And those sins screamed for retribution. And retribution she shall receive.

'…Happiness is unattainable…And salvation…salvation is impossible.'

Yes. She would die in that cell.

And her thoughts on Serph? She smiled ruefully once more.

'If…If I had…another chance…I'd tell you…that I'm sorry.' she told herself. She would never get to see him again, would she?

Her heart felt a prick of anguish as she contemplated her fate. She would never see him again. She would never get to see his impish grin…his sparkling eyes…his mesmerizing smile…

She would never again be able to hear his rare loving words…his rare soft chuckles…or his deep and stoic commanding voice. She would never get to hear the calm beating of his heart…

She would never again get to smell his sensuous masculine scent…Yes; that scent that engulfed and encompassed her whenever they would make love…

Aa…

Make love. She never used to call it that before. She would always give it other names…like having sex…or sleeping with him. No; to her, before, they had never made love. She had just slept with him. No more; no less.

But now, as strange as it may sound, it felt right…to say it.

Make love…

She would never again feel him against her. She would never feel his strong arms protecting her…or feel the transient form of nirvana with him.

No never again.

And now, she asked herself, 'What are you doing woman…? Why are you thinking of all this bullshit!?'

The answer was simple.

'I'm in love with him.'

She grinned bitterly. It had taken an entire week of starvation, torture…and pure solitude to realize the real contents of her life.

She realized…that it had been bearable. She realized that with him, life was bearable…and now, without him, she was miserable, cold and alone.

A week of grueling experience.

'I'm…such a fool.' she thought bitterly. She was; she had been so preoccupied in striving for the so-called better life…not realizing that she already had it.

'Oh Serph…I won't get to tell you…' she thought with a prick of pain, poking at her heart.

She wouldn't be able to tell him now…or ever. It was too late.

Whatever it was she felt for him no longer mattered. It would be an unsung dirge…a play that would never be performed; a dance that shall never be danced.

A song that no one would hear.

And then…she asked herself; why the change…?

Again; it was simple.

She had never stopped of thinking of him…In each of every second, of every minute of every hour of every day…and of every night, she thought of him…

Because there was nothing else in her life that was worth thinking of; nothing worth remembering. Those times with Serph…were the only times in her life that she could say when life had been happy…Her times with him were the only times that had prompted her to continue living…and because of that, those sacred moments were the thoughts and memories that she would treasure and cherish forever…

'Serph…! Oh god…' she thought painfully once more as she pictured within her mind his most gentlest of smiles…and his soothing words, his breath tickling her ear.

At that moment, a tear escaped her eye.

But like she said; it didn't matter now. He'd never get to know it.

'He probably hates me by now…' she internally said, knowing full-well how deep the wound she had inflicted on him went.

It cut through his uniform, penetrating his soft but strong flesh…making its way to his bones where it had imbedded itself…right within it.

Yes; she had hurt him that much.

And her punishment?

'Such betrayal…is punishable only by death.'

And death she shall have.

xxxxx

She curled herself up to a ball, again having shivers invade her body. She tasted nothing but the metallic taste of her own blood within her mouth.

She smiled bitterly; how many teeth had she lost since then…?

'Two…'

Her wounds gave her a dull ache but she endured. No; she wasn't hoping to be saved. She just wanted a proud death.

'Not be like some wounded animal waiting for it to come.' she thought with a proud sneer.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the cell doors opened slowly. She sneered; was it that time already?

She groaned as she felt herself being engulfed within the man's arms. She growled, "L-let go of me…!" came her muffled voice from the sack.

"Argilla… It's me…" the voice said as he untied the knot on the sack, freeing her face and head.

She froze immediately. She knew that he smelled familiar.

She looked up into the darkness and saw his twinkling silver eyes. Her eyes widened.

She only had one question.

"Why…?"

xxxxx

He had found her. After a week of searching covertly, he had found her. And he had made all those who hurt her…pay. He had killed that…bastard with his own two hands…

And his taskforce?

They could do nothing. They were useless.

He sighed; well, that was all in the past.

Now, his focus was on her once more.

He watched her bedside as often as he could, taking time off from his schedule to see her. She wasn't conscious and was often asleep.

He could feel his silver eyes beginning to be heavy and accumulate with moisture whenever his eyes would meander all over her body. She had been heavily beaten and her back had all sorts of lacerations.

Her nose had been broken…and her fingers as well. She had also a few ribs broken…She had looked sickly when he had found her. She had been bound…and her head concealed, not allowing her vision or the perception of her surroundings…They kept her like an animal; they starved her and maimed her.

That was why…That was why he had allowed himself to be overwhelmed by his demon back then and he had done away with those bastards the way he saw fit…He had given them all painful and agonizing deaths…

'Nothing but retribution…' he thought.

He had thought then, that perhaps that little killing spree of his would result into an open declaration of war against the Wolves. He was relieved to know that the other officials of the Wolves themselves had already suspected that man…

'That man…What was his name again?' Serph thought, realizing that he had killed Argilla's captor without actually knowing his name.

Oh well.

He had died in obscurity. No one would remember his name or his deeds.

Well, getting back to the original point, he was glad that the Wolves had been on his side. They had already suspected "that man" to have the intentions of destabilizing both tribes and were just gathering evidence to indict him. He planned to destabilize the tribes by first nullifying their alliance while he gathered rookies, thus gaining power of his own behind his superior's back and then provoke a war between Embryon and the Wolves.

After that, when all the fighting had ceased, he was confident that Lupa would die hence leaving the command of the Wolves to him. And the Embryon? He was confident that Muladhara would fall when his army of rookies attacked Muladhara. He was confident that Muladhara wouldn't be able to defend after another army had attacked them.

'Really stupid…' Serph thought; but oh well…that was "his" fantasy. And he really didn't care.

He sighed once more as he looked at Argilla.

It would be a while until she would be well again.

But he had made a promise to himself, long before he had become her husband, that he would protect her the best he could…and he would see her through…

He sat down on the chair at her side and made to touch her hand, as she lay sleeping but stopped midway.

Right.

He would only aggravate her wounds.

That and…

'I no longer have that right.'

It pained him to see her this way.

She had always been a part of him…And now, seeing her in pain…beaten and broken, it just killed a part of him. He clenched his hands into fists, 'I should've never let her keep her career when we were still together.'

He knew that it was selfish of him. He was withholding a strong and capable soldier not to fight just so that she wouldn't be injured while the wives, sisters, mothers and daughters of countless people in Muladhara had gone to war…and died.

But they didn't matter to him. And she did. That was the underlying difference.

That was why…seeing her there on that bed, after experiencing all of those horrors…that was why he was all the more determined to put her out of duty; permanently.

It didn't matter to him if he weren't her husband or her mate…he was still commander in chief of Muladhara.

He sighed; he had been selfish enough already…When he had decided to save her, he was prepared to deprive Muladhara of a leader…just for her.

He looked at her painfully, "Can't you see…what you are making me do…? Can't you see the extent of which I am prepared to sacrifice for you…?"

He knew that she wouldn't answer back and he smiled languidly. Regardless, he would continue to protect and support her.

For as long as he was alive.

xxxxx


	4. Transience

**A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1. **

**WARNING: OOC, LANGUAGE, WAFF, ANGST. **

**Chapter 4: Transience **

It had been a fortnight since her recovery. She fluttered her eyes awake and saw the white ceilings. She raised an eyebrow before shutting her eyes back.

The light was blinding…

She moaned and a moment later, opened her eyes once more. She immediately felt a stinging pain on her face. She looked at the middle of her face and saw the splint on her nose. Right.

She looked around, turning her head slowly from left to right and saw that she was indeed…within the confines of the Muladhara infirmary.

She looked at her arms and saw that they were still bandaged. Her fingers had splints as well…but she didn't feel any pain.

"You're doing quite well in your healing Argilla." a voice convivially commented. She whipped around and saw the all too familiar silver hair of her husband.

'Ex-husband damn it!' she thought with feigned conviction.

Serph smiled at her, his eyes meandering to her tousled pink tresses and slowly made his way to the quaint plaster on her nose.

He chuckled; she looked so cute. Comical.

He slowly made his way to her and sat down on the chair on her side, "You really had me worried…"

She turned sharply away. She had always dreamed of him and thought of him when she had been held captive. But now that they were met face to face this way…she felt her voice, her strength and resolve faltering, abandoning her, only to deliver her into the arms of obscurity…and cowardice.

Now that they were together…alone in that room…she found the words die within her lips, refusing to be uttered.

She wanted to tell him so many things…

But then, after much deliberation, she had only one word to say to him.

She looked at him with her pink eyes deeply boring into his silver orbs and asked, "Why?"

Serph cast his face down. Why indeed?

Of course; he knew of what she spoke. She was asking why he had saved her…

Knowing exactly what to tell her, he slowly looked up at her and stood. Argilla's heart raced in both thrill and confusion as she watched his enigmatic movements; what was he doing? Where was he going?

A moment later, he leaned down and pressed a kiss on her forehead and whispered, "You know why."

Her pink orbs widened but she dared not say anything.

He withdrew from her and looked at her straight in the eyes, "Get well soon Argilla. I've assigned new duties for you."

She opened her mouth to speak and ask him but he had already disappeared from her room.

'New…duties…?'

xxxxx

Another week had passed and she had been dismissed from the infirmary. She frowned then. Serph seldom visited her…

His visits were…short…and at times, he didn't come at all. She sighed; she missed him. She looked at herself in the mirror and inspected her nose.

It had been fully healed.

And so were the rest of her body.

She looked at her hands and was glad that the scarring would be minimal. But what of her back…? She closed her eyes, 'Who cares…?'

She looked at herself one last time and then left her hospital room altogether.

xxxxx

She looked over to the horizon, feeling the chilly wind against her pearly white skin, feeling the soft yet cold pricks of the raindrops on her exposed flesh and face. She had just been to the drill sergeant…

She had been taken off from her duties from the Covert Ops…and she had been stationed at Muladhara itself, as a guard; a guard at the local treasury.

She gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes in sheer anger.

'How…how dare he do this to me…?' she asked herself; seething in anger.

She had half the mind to stomp over to his office and wring his neck for her apparent demotion. But she decided against it. He was still her commander in chief no matter what happened.

She felt her lips quiver in lividness, her sight seeing nothing but red.

"Does he think…that he'll have me crawling back to him…? Asking for my duties back…? Asking for a damn promotion…?! As a favor?!" she frowned further as she further assessed her situation, "Or is there another reason for my demotion?"

She sneered, "Was it because I…I failed to take out my target…?"

"No."

She froze.

She smiled bitterly. She couldn't even sense him near her…

Perhaps then, seeing how her senses were lacking its accuracy and degree of sharpness…perhaps her demotion wasn't…an act of condescension but was in fact, appropriate.

A moment later, he came to her, leaning on the same railing that she now held tightly in her hands…

She continued to stare into the dimming horizon, silently marveling at the sight of the sun's dying rays…Its pale yet striking colors a myriad of hues…perhaps representing human emotions as well…Like _her_ emotions; apprehension…tension…anger…disbelief…skepticism…unrequited love.

She cursed and applauded the last one…

But of course; that could wait.

She hadn't forgotten.

And so, once more, she asked him, "Why?"

Serph nodded; gazing at the horizon itself, just as she did, "Aa…"

"Don't patronize me."

He chuckled softly, "…I'm not patronizing you."

At this, she had had enough. He was leading her on and on…and wasn't intending on giving her a straight answer either. She sucked in a quick breath and turned her blazing eyes at him, "Then why?!" she yelled.

"I had to save you." he stated nonchalantly; not meeting her eyes.

She snarled, "Look at me when I'm talking to you damn it!!"

He closed his eyes and gripped the railings tighter before sighing and turning to look at her, "Argilla…"

His heart felt a pang of pain as he took in her vulnerable form, her shoulders slightly slumping, her countenance shaking…her lips quivering in uncertainty…and her eyes…pooling with heavy moisture…accumulating crystalline tears…

He took a step closer to her but she took a step back.

"How many times do I have to tell you!? I don't want you!" she shouted; she was lying through her teeth and she knew it…But she had to keep up her façade. At the moment, she wasn't faced with her husband…but rather, her CO.

She would not condone weakness. And neither would he.

And so, she would keep her pretense. She would show him that she wasn't weak.

Her words stung him like needles. But he held his ground, "Argilla…please…"

Her tear trailed down her cheek now, and she spoke with a shaky voice, "Y-you…saved me…Why!?"

"What do you want from me!?" she shrieked, "Did you want a damn beaten dog asking her master for forgiveness for being bad!? Or did you want to tell me another of your 'I told you so' bitch-ass lines!? Or maybe you want an apology from me…to save your damn pride…" she finished with utter malice, venom imbedded within each syllable of her damning words.

Serph sighed; she was always like that…She was…so proud; so high and mighty…

She wanted the truth? So, he'd give it to her.

"Because I love you." he deadpanned.

Argilla could feel her steel wall beginning to crack around her…This man…even after all that she had done…after everything that she had said…he still continued to love her…She looked at him…hopefully, searching his eyes for any traces of deceit…of lies…of condescension…And she almost broke down in happiness and in bitterness as she found none.

He was truthful.

She was happy…that he felt for her what she felt for him. She felt overwhelmed that he was still true to her…that his feelings for her had not waned…had not faltered…had not diminished.

But at the same time, she felt bitter.

Now that she knew what he still felt for her, what did that entail for her…? Would she tell him how she felt…? No; that would be just an insult to him…

She was a coward.

She turned away from him and spoke through gritted teeth, "Why did you demote me then?"

"…"

He didn't know how to answer that. Why indeed? Would he tell her the truth…? Perhaps…there was no other way…

His silence was unnerving her. And it was sending her confirmation of her earlier suspicions.

Well, if he was to remain silent, then she would do the talking for him.

"Was it because I failed to eliminate the target?" she asked bitterly, her eyes narrowing dangerously at his silver orbs.

He blinked but said nothing. She was wrong.

She gritted her teeth and grabbed him by the collar, "Am I useless to you now?!" she yelled, "Do you think I'm weak!? That I'm…incapable…?" she asked desperately, the last word leaving her lips as a weak and benign whisper.

Serph latched his hands on her and grasped her tightly against him, pulling her into an embrace. She protested and pushed at him relentlessly, disgusted at his display of open condescension and insult…of disgusting disdain.

If he thought that he could win her over by giving her a sympathetic embrace, then he can forget it…!

She bowed to no one!

'Not anymore…!'

She pounded on his chest but he held on, subduing her with little effort.

"Let go! Let go…you pig!"

Pig.

That was a first.

She had called him many names…but never that.

"Let go of me!! What do you think…?! That you could…woo me with…with your embraces…and your…and your voice…" she finished with a sob as she found her face against his chest…hearing his calmly beating heart…

He smiled as he smelled her hair…She hadn't changed.

No; underneath all that anger…all that cynical façade…she had been as pure as he had first met her.

He held her for as long as she wanted to be held. Yes; now he knew that she wanted to be within his arms. There wasn't a protest of any shape, form or manner. She just stood there, limp against him, sobbing.

After taking ample time…and seeing that she had calmed down, he parted his lips and slowly spoke, "I did it…for you."

"…F-for me…?" she repeated; confused.

"I can't risk losing you again…" he told her truthfully, his nose still buried in her pink tresses, still enthralled at her alluring fragrance, "When I left Muladhara…to find you, I gave up everything…to be with you. Both in this life…and the next."

She let out a cry at hearing that and slowly pulled away, so that their eyes may meet, "You…you gave all that up…for me…?"

"I'd protect you…until my very last breath."

She couldn't say anything; she was stupefied. And now, there was that familiar feeling swimming in her stomach.

It was the same feeling that she had experienced whilst she was held captive…whenever she would think of him…whenever his visage would haunt her…whenever his eyes would enthrall her…

"I had decided…to keep you here. Not…to insult you." he said as he tucked a renegade lock of her hair behind her ear, smiling ruefully, "I just…I just…want to know that you're here…safe…and secure. Protected." he told her steadfastly, his eyes no longer being emotive, but now as hard as steel.

"You're being selfish…" she whispered desperately.

"I know…"

She shook her head and closed her eyes, "Don't be…Don't do this to me…Don't do this to yourself…Don't use your position to…to maneuver and avert my fate."

"…!" he stiffened as he heard her wise words…

"My fate…my destiny is mine and mine alone…No one can avert or avoid it Serph." she spoke gently, emotively, "If I would die on the field…then it would be God's decree. If I die, then my time on this earth is over. Not even you can protect me…Not when that time comes…"

"I know…but I still…"

She shook her head again and cut him off, "Then let me go Serph…Let me go…"

He felt his chest tighten and his heart be constricted, as if it had been caught within a vice. There was that damning sentence again.

Let her go.

With a painful heart, he slowly nodded.

He would.

He had to; because it was what she asked of him. He would honor her wishes…

He smiled at her weakly, "Please…don't hate me if I still…worry about you…every now and then…" he said with a small laugh.

He was the only one laughing.

He sighed, "Please don't deprive me…"

"Of what?" she asked.

With a tight smile, he continued, "Please don't deprive me my right…of loving you…from afar."

She stared at him wide-eyed, but said nothing.

"I'd still tend to be…as I am now…I know you'd never love me, but please, don't take that away from me too."

So…he had always known…He hadn't been blind, deaf or dumb to her conundrum in each of everyday, every night, every week…every month of every year that they had been together.

But then again, he was blind, deaf and dumb to her feelings _now_.

Her feelings had evolved.

She blinked and sucked in a quick breath; he was wrong…

"I know…I'm still that dork next-door huh?" he asked with a humorless laugh.

She sighed and pulled away from him completely taking a few steps away from him and then turned her gaze once more to the gray skies…

"Serph…"

She had heard him. She had listened to him…and now, it was he who should listen to her.

She shut her eyes tightly, "When…when I was there…in that dark place…I was scared."

He said nothing and walked over to where she was and looked at her intently, urging her to continue.

"I had…half the mind to kill myself."

She laughed bitterly, "I knew that the chances of me surviving were less than forty percent. When…when I found out that they knew who I really was, I greatly considered suicide." She tore her gaze from the dim skies and directed them at Serph's eyes, "I knew that they'd use me to get to you."

"I…I just can't let them do that."

She cast her face down, "For all that you've done for me…For everything…Right from protecting me when I was a child…to being my friend…to being my strong CO…to being my lover…my husband…my mate…" she looked up at him, "For loving me…I thank you." she finished with a tear rolling down her cheek.

He opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head and put up her palm, gesturing him to let her finish. He indulged her.

"When they saw how uncooperative I was…that's when they beat the shit out of me." she said with a small laugh.

He frowned.

She gazed at him, still wearing that tight smile upon her lips and continued, "But you know something?" she paused as another tear escaped her eye, "I didn't let them break me. No. Never." she said with furrowed eyebrows, shaking her head, "I won't _ever_ let them break me. And what's more…" she sighed and closed her eyes before opening them once more, looking intently into his silver pools, "I endured…because of you."

He blinked and she saw the wonder and surprise. Him…?

She nodded and chuckled, "Yes."

She sighed again, "I endured…because…you're all I thought about when I was there…in the dark."

"I knew that you'd never save me…because it was against protocols and military conduct…but there was a part of me that kept hope…that you would." she finished with a small hiccup.

She cast her face down, "I know…that I've been a terrible lover…and a more terrible wife…And most of all, I know…that I can never undo what I've done." She looked at him once more, braving to gaze at him, prepared to see anger and insult in his gaze…

Again, she was proven wrong when she found none.

There was only…sympathy and understanding within his gaze.

"But…I just want to tell you…that…I thank you. For everything. That; and that I'm sorry. For everything."

"…"

She felt a slap on her face and on her heart as she was met with his ever deafening silence.

She nodded; well, there was nothing more to be said she supposed. This was…the real time when they would be parting ways…She had her life to live and he…he had his.

For everything that she had put him through; of all the humiliation, of all the insults and all the pain that she had made him endure, he deserved happiness. If happiness was ever attainable in their world…Serph was the person who deserved it the most.

He had sacrificed everything of him for her…and not just her, but for the entire tribe as well. Each fiber of his being had been sold so that she and every other person within their tribe could have a chance at life; a chance at survival…and perhaps…even a chance at happiness.

She took a step away and began to walk away but then stopped, "If I could turn back time…I…" she paused as she hesitated.

"You'd…what?" he asked softly.

"I'd do whatever I could…to stay with you…"

She continued her walk.

His heart stopped as he heard her. She…she loved him…?

She stopped again, her voice cold once more, "Sir. Please send me back out in the field. It's…where I belong. And if I should die there…then I would be happy to."

He understood her.

The rain…the battlefield…was their home.

She, as a soldier and not as a woman, regarded that place as sacred. It was where she lived her life…and it was where she would die. As a warrior, as a follower of nothing but the path of the sword…the path of war, he understood.

And so, he, Serph, not as her husband but as a soldier, nodded, "…So be it."

She smiled although he couldn't see it.

She nodded back, "Mn." before walking away…

There she as…walking away from him. He frowned; did she say that…she wanted to be with him…? And if that was so, why didn't she stay with him? Why was she walking away now…?

'I'm not letting you go again…!' he shouted at himself.

"Argilla."

His voice stopped her.

"Sir…It's getting late. I'll see you at the drills at 0500 hours."

He felt his heart crack…but his face didn't show it.

He had been rejected.

Again.

xxxxx


	5. Salvation

**A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1. **

**WARNING: OOC, WAFF, ANGST, SAP, SAP and more SAP. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. LEMON. RELIGIOUS THEMES; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Chapter 5: Salvation**

Her heart was deadly slow…her breathing was calm…and her hands were steady.

She watched with cold eyes the woman within her sights…

"Aa…My prey…Now I have you…" she purred in cold indifference.

A moment later, the deed was done.

xxxxx

She chuckled bitterly, letting the rain drop on her uncaringly. This was a turnaround for her. She usually let her thoughts and her guilt run amuck at the tavern…

But now, she just found herself by a cliff, sitting on its edge, lazily gazing at the wasteland before her…

Wasteland…

She smiled bitterly.

Nothing had really changed. She may have had an epiphany about life…but it changed nothing. She was still living the hell that she had sworn she would spurn…

"We should stop these charades…"

A male voice from behind her spoke with a hint of a low chuckle.

She smiled; completely used to it. It had been a week since he had reinstated her within her forte…within her blood relatives…the realm of the silent killers.

It had been a week…since they had spoken.

"We should." she said, totally concurring.

She didn't need to turn her face or to look away from where she was staring to perceive that he had taken the liberty of occupying the space next to her.

"You said…" he trailed off, closing into a pause.

She raised an eyebrow, "Said what?"

"…" he hesitated for but a moment before finding his nerve to continue, "…you had said that if you could…turn back the time…that you would…stay with me."

"I did." she stated nonchalantly.

"Why did you say that?" he asked her; his tone just as nonchalant as hers.

She chuckled, "Aa…"

"Copycat." he said playfully as he recognized that she had merely taken a page from his book pertaining to expressions and mannerisms.

She smiled tightly, still refusing to meet his eyes, "I meant what I said."

"Why?"

She sighed. She could feel his eyes on her…and she found his gaze to be overwhelming. Here, she turned and looked at him, that rueful smile still invading her luscious lips, "I really…would stand by you Serph. Because that's what I feel about you." she deadpanned poignantly.

He wanted to gleefully run around in pure mirth and happiness…but it was her eyes that had him cease his childish thoughts.

There it was, bitterness, as clear as day, swimming within the pools of her pink eyes.

"But you…hate what you feel for me." he told her, finishing her supposed thoughts for her.

She blinked; no! He was…he was wrong.

She laughed, "You're mistaken…sir."

He frowned at that; now who was patronizing whom?

"I don't hate you…I don't hate what I feel about you."

"…?"

"I hate myself."

He narrowed his eyes; what…was she saying…? She was making very little sense.

She turned her gaze from him and stared at the sunset unfolding before her eyes instead.

"I told you, right? About my experiences within that cell."

He nodded, "Yes. You did."

She smiled again, "I think that…me being captured…me being…hurt the way I was…I feel that it was all destiny."

He blinked; what?

She nodded, "That's right. I think that I was fated to go through what I went through."

"Why is that?" he asked.

At that, her smile widened and she took a bold step. She turned to face him and stared at him with hopeful eyes, "Serph…" she began, swallowing a lump in her throat, "…do you…What do you feel about me…? Right now…?"

He laughed and turned away, "Why are you asking me this…?"

She frowned, "Serph…please just tell me."

"For what purpose…?" he asked back, still not meeting her eyes, "There…isn't a need to reopen old wounds Argilla." he said.

Was that pain in his words…?

"Please Serph. I need to know. I need…to hear it."

Serph was confused; why was she doing this to him…? Wasn't it enough for her that he supported whatever decision she may have in life…? Wasn't it enough that he had given her, her position back…?

What would it take to satisfy her…?

And now she wanted him to expose to her…his bleeding heart once more…? For what…? So that she may break him all over again…? And just when he was beginning to mend…?

But despite those thoughts…he knew himself. The decision had already been made; the stage had already been set.

Like a fool that he was, he turned to her and spoke, "I want you." he deadpanned, "I want all of you…I want to be with you…Always." he finished with an excruciating expression adorning his handsome features.

He knew that she would break him.

That was why he was…frightened.

He was frightened at the next words that would leave her lips. He knew…that whatever words she may utter, that they would damn him; that they would destroy him…

"I want that too."

She had taken the plunge…She had jumped. She held her breath; she just hoped…that perhaps, maybe, he would break her fall and catch her…

Serph froze on the spot. What…what was she saying…?

She saw the doubt swim within his eyes. She took another step…She moved closer to him and took his hand in hers, placing it over her heart, "My heart…beats for you…and you alone." she affirmed softly with a heartfelt smile.

"Argilla…"

"I love you…you dork." she said.

Serph's chest swelled in happiness as he heard her words…He felt absolutely ecstatic, moreover, as he felt the gentle beating of her heart. Her heart…beat only for him…

Without hesitation, he took the girl-no!-the woman before him in his arms…

He inhaled softly and relished in her fragrance…

He felt her tiny hands encircle him and encompass him in her warmth.

Finally…

He wanted to laugh…he wanted to cry. This was the very first time…since their marriage that she had held him this way…

She had always put that invisible barrier in between them all those years ago…making her impregnable against his efforts.

But now, she was vulnerable…she was free of barriers, of bonds or shackles and was free for him to take…But he wouldn't. He wouldn't take her…He wouldn't for she had given herself to him…willingly.

"Serph…" she moaned, nuzzling her face against his, "It's you…It's you…" she chanted over and over.

He pulled away, letting their eyes meet, "What do you mean…?"

He frowned a bit as he saw that she was beginning to sob, "It's all you…Don't you see…? I used to think…that this shit of a life wasn't worth living. I hated…this place. I was sick and tired of all this garbage of a life. I'm sick of this war…of this fighting…I'm sick and god damn tired of having my life lived for me…having my choices made for me."

She sobbed still but he held her still; his strong arms conveying to her that he was there for her…that she could lean on him…that she could trust him.

She found herself against his chest once more. She turned her face to the side and held onto him for dear life, "I hated my life Serph…I hated being who I was…I hated being an assassin…I hated killing people for damn survival…! I hated feeling delight when I see them die by my rifle…I hated the barren wastelands…I hated the glaring sun…and I hated being your wife…"

"I wanted to run…to run as far away from here as possible. I want to explore the world…hoping that maybe there was something else for me…Something better…"

"I cursed God…I cursed Him for placing such a heavy punishment for us. Oh Serph…What have we done that was so…unforgivable that God is punishing us this way…? Living a life of hell…without the chance of salvation…?"

Serph closed his eyes and tightened his hold on her.

Yes; he definitely understood…After all, he had grown up within that teaching as well. They had all been taught that the world was the way it was because of a divine punishment that would not be lifted until man had completed his penance…and redemption.

He too had asked, once or twice, pertaining to the question of how much was how much. What more could they do to have this cursed life be lifted from their weak and weary shoulders…?

When would they ever get a taste…of happiness…?

"That was why…I felt that I wanted to take life into my own hands…That was why I wanted to drink…I wanted to show God how miserable and how spiteful I was of Him…That was why I left you…" she finished with a whisper, "I felt that I was trapped in between a bloody and disgusting career and a loveless awkward marriage…"

"I just wanted to run…"

She sniffed and he held her closer still, "Sssh…I'm here…" he cooed to her ear gently.

She smiled weakly at that, "Mn…" she trailed off, "But when I was captured…as the days within that filthy cell went on…As I thought more and more of you…as I began to realize that perhaps it was destiny…And now, being within your arms…I figured out something."

"What is it?" he asked her gently.

She pulled away and cupped his face in her hand, "I didn't need a new life…My life…wasn't the hell that I once thought it to be…"

She sighed, "I don't need to attain happiness…or Nirvana…"

He blinked; confused.

"I already have it…" she smiled, "With you."

Her tears then cascaded her face, giving her that glow…

"With you…I already have salvation…" she said slowly, "God…didn't abandon me after all…He blessed me…" she whispered, "By sending you to be with me…"

Yes. She had been blind. She had been so preoccupied in chasing ephemeral dreams…so busy cursing God and spiting her existence…treating the people beside her with such disdain…scoffing at her life's choices or the lack thereof with such malice…that she never considered to think of the efforts that the others made to make her dream come true.

"You have done everything to make me happy Serph…and I never thought that it was enough…I always wanted something more…I never…I never saw myself as that selfish…but there I was…" she shook within his arms as guilt pervaded her senses and her very being, "I never stopped to notice how hard you tried to realize my dream for me…I never stopped to perceive…how much effort you had given in order for me to have a chance to be happy…"

"When I was there in the dark…I realized…that I loved you…and I didn't even know it. I saw how…naked I was without you…I realized how lonely I was…how…incomplete." she said poignantly, holding on to him as tightly as she could.

It had taken her an entire week…to realize a lifetime's worth. A week. It had been said, after all, that a lifetime could be lived in a day…A love that would last for all of eternity could be experienced and felt within a moment…

God hadn't been completely unfair…Granted, that they would never know of what grave sin it was that their ancestors had committed for them to be punished in the way they were being punished…but one thing was for certain, God hadn't abandoned them.

God hadn't forgotten or abandoned her.

She had been blessed and she didn't even know it…

To have a person…so loyal to her…so loving and affectionate…

It had taken her a week to realize his worth…It had taken her seven days and seven nights to comprehend and understand that salvation wasn't impossible…that happiness wasn't unattainable.

It had taken her seven days and seven nights to realize that her happiness and salvation had been embodied in the shape of a man. Such intangible concepts…such fleeting flights of fancy had manifested itself in flesh and blood.

"Argilla…" Serph trailed off, his heart swelling in happiness…

He was happy…He was happy…that now, _she_ was finally happy.

She laughed, "Haha…I'm going crazy, aren't I?"

He shook his head and embraced her again, "Never…"

She sighed once more and he wondered, "What's wrong…?"

She frowned lightly, "Do I even deserve you?"

"?" he was confused. Why was she thinking this way?

"I kill for survival Serph. I kill mercilessly…I toy with people…making them my prey…and I remove them from this world…How can God forgive me…?" she asked with a choke.

He pulled away and looked seriously into her eyes, "You're wrong."

"Huh?"

He shook his head, "You don't kill because you want to. But because you have to. I…You and I are fighting for the survival of our tribe…so that the children here…and our children and their children's children can have a chance at life…"

He caressed her face once more, "I know…that I've put the heavy burden upon your shoulders by allowing you to continue with your duties…but you must understand…that we are playing the cards that we have been dealt."

"I cannot promise you that I will stop all the killings and all the wars…but I can tell you that I will do everything in my power…to stop all the killings…and all the wars…" he told her with pure conviction.

He sighed, "I'm not like you…I'm not an assassin. But, I do share in your pain."

She looked at him expectantly, "Y-you do…?"

He nodded, "Every time that you're out there, I feel your pain. I know what it feels like to be the one to extinguish the life of your fellow man. I know because…even though I may not be at the field, I am…the one who authorizes those culling." He shook his head and shut his eyes tightly, "To be the one responsible for the deaths of thousands…" he sighed, "I know how you feel."

"But you know…"

She gazed at him, wanting to hear the next words that would leave his lips.

He smiled ruefully, "The world is ugly…but we would make changes to make a better place for our families and loved ones."

He sighed, "I know that your burden is heavy…as is mine, but…you don't have to bear it alone."

She sucked in a quick breath and looked into his compassionate eyes…

"I'm here. I'll bear it…with you."

She smiled, feeling her heart melt. She then felt his hand on hers. She looked from his eyes and down to their intertwined fingers and she heard him speak, "As long as you're with me…I can bear it."

She looked up at him, "I understand Serph…" she smiled, "Yes. I'll bear my burden…We'll bear it…together. Until God decides to forgive us…"

He nodded and took her in his arms once more…

"I want to be with you forever…" he heard her whisper.

"As do I…" he responded.

She felt happy…She didn't want to run away anymore…With him, she had found it possible to accept herself…

She was mistaken.

She wasn't just a merciless killer…

She killed because she had to; and not because she wanted to…And that sadistic side of her…? She had been deemed silent…mute…robbed of her voice…no longer haunting her…subdued. Just as Serph's words would ring true, she would endure her burden…She would endure this beast within her.

Serph had not just taught her to be compassionate; he had taught her to be accepting of who she was. And what she was, was a soldier; a hard steel-faced soldier. That part of her that would crave the eve of battle…was a beast that each soldier had…whether they would admit it or not.

It was that beast, that demon within them that made them pull that trigger…It was that malevolent entity that made a soldier a killer; it was that personage that gave them that killer instinct…

And it wasn't bad…per se, just so that she or he didn't lose sight of her or his goal. And what goal was that…?

'That we're not cold-blooded murderers…We're soldiers…to protect our families…I'll keep fighting…to protect you Serph…' she thought with happiness and conviction as she held him tighter against her…

Granted, the burden would not leave her; it would not disappear or fade…but now she could say with confidence, that her burden would be bearable.

He would be there…

He would be her shield…and her source of warmth and comfort…

After a moment of pure contemplation and pure happiness, Serph pulled away and smiled at her, "Argilla…"

"Hm…?"

His hand caressed her face gently and he whispered, "Marry me…?"

Another tear trailed down her cheek and she laughed. "Mn!" she responded happily; nodding. Not allowing him to respond, she threw herself upon his arms and sealed their aching lips together…

Finally, she would be kissing him, not because it was her obligation as a wife…as a lover or as a mate…but because she wanted to…

He held her to him firmly, slanting his face against hers before slowly prying her lips apart…and taking it upon himself to explore her wet grotto.

They were getting soaked from the rain…but it mattered not…

The drops of crystalline diamonds from the skies adorned their faces and their apparel…making them shimmer in the ephemeral glow of enchantment.

He pulled her against him firmly, his hands and arms making their way around her tiny waist. She giggled against him as she continued to return his ardor-filled kiss…returning his heightened passion tenfold.

Nothing could be heard but the soft patting of the raindrops on the soil around them…

Aa…

The land of eternal rain…

Her arms snaked around her lover's neck and she moaned within their kiss…A moment later…she pulled away, flabbergasted.

He opened his eyes and asked, "What's wrong…?"

She blinked once…and then twice, "Serph…? Do you hear that…?"

He perked up his ears and then nodded, "I do. I hear nothing."

She nodded. As if having a telepathic connection, the two simultaneously looked up the skies…and noticed…

Her heart stopped and she gasped, "Serph…! It's…it's not possible…"

He could only nod in concurrence.

She was right…

Right above them…where the ever malevolent skies used to be, were the shapes of mellowed and gentle clouds…No longer spurning rain…the skies were within an enigmatic sense of calm…and serenity.

He blinked and looked at his lover and saw that she was still transfixed upon the calm skies…her pink orbs dilating in sheer awe and enthrallment.

He stiffened as he watched something land at the edge of her cute nose.

Argilla could feel his eyes on her. He was gazing at her intently…Why?

She turned to him and blinked; he was looking at her funny…

"Serph…?" she asked. She then giggled, "What? Is there something on my face…?"

"…" he blinked once more and his hand reached out to touch her. She froze; what was he doing?

"Argilla…look…" he told her.

"W-what…?" she asked in uncertainty as his slender finger came to her nose and touched its peak…

She looked and saw it…

It was…

"What is that…?" she asked in confusion as her lover had taken the foreign object from her face and onto his finger.

The two huddled together and inspected it closer…

It was a soft flake of pure white…

A moment later, the two broke apart as Argilla gasped, "Oh Serph!"

He blinked and looked around them…

There they were…those mysterious white flakes…falling from the skies…

No longer the raindrops, this was something completely different. Argilla slowly stood and so did he…They tilted their heads up to the heavens and looked in amazement…

The air around them had always been quite chilly…but now, it had gone even chillier.

The gentle snowflakes were falling from the skies…gently…calmly…bathing them within a world not of eternal rain…but of eternal winter…of eternal frost.

A few moments later, they found themselves surrounded by the white flakes that had by now, pooled together, forming lumps of soft white snow on the ground…all around them…

"It's…all so beautiful Serph…!" she trailed off, outstretching her arms towards the heavens, letting the soft white flakes of frost touch her fingertips, bathing her in a universe of snow and winter.

Serph smiled as he looked at her innocent form. Yes; it was as if she had been a child once more. No longer tainted by the harsh realities of life…no longer besmirched by the stench of blood or the sight of corpses…she marveled in unadulterated delight as she snatched the playful white flakes that fell gently to the ground from the skies…

Argilla chuckled and then looked down. She could feel her heart race as she took a fistful of the white substance in her hand and shivered upon contact. It was cold!

"Is this…a message from God…? From God Himself?" she asked; looking at Serph intently, expectantly.

Serph smiled, "Perhaps…"

They may not know for sure…but he had a gut feeling that ascertained what he had just told her. This was a start, he deemed.

From here on, life would get better for them, won't it?

Perhaps God had decided to forgive them…? Who knew…?

xxxxx

She looked at his sitting form on their bed with a smile on her face. The air was deadly silent and their eyes were on one another. Her hair was loose and she let her pink wavy locks dangle carelessly, effortlessly, with some of its tresses framing her face…accentuating her bright pink orbs.

Slowly, her hand came up to the knot of the thin white robe that she was wearing and slowly undid it…

Ever so slowly, so carefully…so meticulously, she unfolded herself in front of him, showing to him her all…

She felt her spine tingle in apprehension for but a moment as she felt his loving yet hungry eyes on her. She hadn't been the same woman that he had made love to when he had saved her from her captors…

She knew that she had many scars to show him. And she wondered for a moment, what would he think of her…?

Serph looked at her intently and when he peered into her eyes, he saw…the slight look of disdain; disdain for herself.

And so, as if reading her mind, he stood and slowly walked up to her and took her in his arms.

He ran his hands all over her body, his eyes never leaving hers and smiled at her affectionately, stroking her face, her cheek just has lovingly, and whispered, "You are…beautiful…"

His chest swelled in mirth and glee as he saw her eyes twinkle in delight of what he had said.

"Serph…" she breathed out. She was grateful…

A moment later, she found herself being kissed by his gentle lips…being caressed by his firm but placid hands…igniting her skin…rousing passion within that had slumbered on for far too long.

Their kiss soon transcended all tenderness as it became a duel wherein only the most passionate…the most ardent may emerge as the victor…

He chuckled against her mouth as he felt her gaining the upper hand. And he let her.

For now, he would allow her this small victory.

His lips left hers and found the flesh of her neck…He trailed kisses on her skin, being oh so careful…He looked and sought after that soft spot on her neck…that spot that he deemed as sacred…

A moment later, he found it. It had been the spot where he could feel and practically hear the surging and the pulsing of her hot blood…

No longer tender or gentle, he was overwhelmed with the feeling of consummation towards his mate…his wife…

He wanted to mark her. He wanted to let the whole world know that she was his once more. Without further thought, he sank his teeth onto her skin, right where her veins rested. She closed her eyes tightly and moaned as she felt the force of his teeth on her neck, puncturing her pearly white skin, relishing on the tender taste of her succulent flesh…and indulging ever so mirthfully upon the sweet taste of her crimson blood.

She clung to him desperately, no longer having the will to remain standing, her legs becoming wobbly and her knees beginning to buckle as his hungry lips and tongue devoured her.

He held her tighter against himself as he felt her weakness…He growled playfully as he licked and suckled on her wound, swallowing her blood…letting the saccharine liquid ambrosia trickle down within his throat, all the while rejuvenating him.

Feeling himself beginning harden at the sound of her meek moans, he tightened his hold on her even still and stirred her towards the bed that they had shared, slowly laying her down.

His lips left her neck and he stole a peek at her. He was on her now, straddling her, his right palm on the bed on her left side while his other hand caressed her face. His eyes, even though they were now veiled with lust…were reigned and overwhelmed with only love and affection…

She saw the look in him…the look of need…of want…of love.

She smiled at him meaningfully, and took the hand that stroked her face and put it on the upper part of her left breast, upon her beating heart. With a gentle smile, she whispered, "My heart…beats for you…"

His heart skipped at beat at hearing her.

And so, he leaned down towards her, nestling himself in between her legs, and kissed her once more.

She welcomed him with open arms…

She freed him of his bonds soon after…

A moment later, the two lovers were both bare…

He looked into her eyes as he pulled away, wanting to ensure that this…this, whatever it was that they were doing, was something that she wanted to do…and not because she had to.

"Argilla…Do you want to go through this…?" he asked, his face steely…yet his eyes raw with emotion.

She nodded, "I do…I've always wanted you…"

He smiled tightly at that and there…took the last step that separated them and unified their bodies.

She moaned at the contact and she closed her eyes, smiling. She stifled a sniff…and a small sob…

She had been his wife and lover for so long…and yet…it never felt this way to make love to him…It had never felt…complete or happy.

He froze as he saw tears slipping from her closed eyes, "What's wrong…?" he asked worriedly. Did she…change her mind?

She opened her eyes and looked deeply into his silver pools, "Oh Serph…I never knew…it felt this way to…be with you…"

"I _feel_ you…" she whispered happily.

He was happy at seeing that. He knew what she meant. He knew what she felt…Because he felt it too.

Their passion had unified their needy and aching bodies…but it wasn't just that. It had provided a bridge that unified their lost souls…

Now, no longer lost, their souls, their consciousness merged together to form one being…one entity that knew only passion…only of love…of forgiveness.

And so, the two, now one, braved the world of ardor and zeal, hand in hand.

The world slumbered on and time had passed and gone by…but for the two lovers, that moment in time, that single moment had been preserved within a world without time…within a world beyond the ages…transcending space…transcending reality.

The two lovers were then met with a vision.

Nirvana had been opened for them…and they gladly walked in, together, hand in hand…

She caught him with open arms, holding him to her gently yet tightly against her, feeling his essence fill her…engulf her…pervade her…so that it may create life within.

"Serph…thank you…" she whispered happily, feeling her tears cascade down her face once more.

"I'll always be here…" he responded, smiling genuinely in the dark, both in his lips and his heart.

She buried her face at the crook of his neck and inhaled his masculine scent. Now, more than ever…she knew that she was blessed.

God did not abandon her…

And the Nirvana that she had long searched for…was within her arms all along…

Her salvation, though she had long envisioned it to be shrouded by divine light…had been exemplified by the personification of blood…and of the flesh.

Her salvation, her redemption, her happiness…her Nirvana…had been incarnated all in one.

All in one man.

"You are everything to me…" she whispered earnestly, honesty and love imbedded in each of her syllables.

"As are you to me…Argilla." he responded; his voice low and husky…his tone truthful and passionate.

Feeling exhaustion creep upon him, he slowly closed his eyes, and fell asleep instantaneously, still on her.

Argilla giggled a bit as she felt him dream on; so he wasn't the strongest warrior of the Embryon after all.

'Who would've thought that lovemaking was the only thing that would tucker him out?' she thought with a giggle as she wondered about her cute husband.

She sighed a moment later and let her thoughts meander…

Looking back at her painful experience at that cell…She was thankful to God. She really…did believe that it was destiny working at that time; it was destiny that she experienced such pain. And now she understood why.

It was…through pain and agony that she remembered…that she appreciated life and had realized her true feelings and had propelled her to accept who she was.

It was then that she remembered a story that her mother used to tell her…She had been but a child back then…

Flashback

"_Mother…Have we really been…forsaken…?" she asked her mother, kneeling in front of her, her folded arms on her mother's lap. _

_Her mother smiled ruefully, "There was once a man who asked that…of God. There was a man who had a dream where he walked in a beach…and that God was with him. In that dream, he had seen different moments in his life…and in each one of them, he saw two different sets of footprints in the sand. One for his and one for God. But he noticed that in some parts of his life, only his footprints could be seen. And so, he asked God why there was only one set of footprints…only during the most troubled parts of his life." _

_She widened her eyes, "He asked God…!? What did He say!?" _

_The old woman chuckled, "He asked God: 'God…why hast thou forsaken me…? You said that should I decide to follow you that you'd walk with me all the way…Then why was I alone all throughout the lowest and darkest times of my life…?'"_

_She blinked, entranced, "Then…!? What did God say!?" _

_The woman smiled and caressed her face gently, and leaned down, "You see…Argilla, God wasn't punishing him." _

_She frowned, "Of course He is mother! He had punished even those who believe in Him! Why!?" _

_The woman still held her smile, regarding the skeptic and enraged countenance of her young daughter and spoke, "My daughter, listen well. If man continues to have nothing but good life…they tend to forget God. It is only through suffering that man remembers the mercy of God…God did not punish the man, nor did He abandon him."_

"_Mother! What happened in the story!? What did God say?" the child asked her mother, impatient and foregoing the old woman's wise words. _

_The woman chuckled again, used to her daughter's fiery countenance and spoke, "And then, God replied: 'My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.'." _

End Flashback

Back when she was a child…she had believed her mother…but as she grew older, her faith had faded, with each year bringing her closer and closer to despair…That memory, she had kept under lock and key, hiding it from the rest of her conscious mind, concealing it within the darkest folds of her psyche.

In her opinion, back then, that memory served not to give hope…but false hope.

But, not anymore.

Argilla smiled, now understanding.

Trials and hardships were a test in faith. It did not mean abandonment…It was so that men would not forget God; it was so, so that they would remember Him and do not lose hope.

That was the flaw of man.

If God did everything for them, they become proud and complacent and forget God. But if He did nothing, they lose hope and they despair…

She sighed as she reflected back on her own life.

It was through suffering and through pain that men remember God and remember His boundless mercy…

Man was not infallible and hence prone to sin. When they live prosperously, they tend to forget God…and forget their humble beginnings…

And that was what happened to her.

She had been given that painful test by God so that she may realize what she had…So that she may realize the blessings that she had possessed but had thus far taken for granted.

And so…she was thankful. She was oh so thankful that she had been given a second chance to be with this man…this man who was the source of her happiness…her salvation…and redemption.

She sighed and took a look at her now sleeping mate and husband. She touched his face gently and whispered into the dark, "I am blessed…to have you Serph…Blessed…"

xxxxx

FIN

**A/N: The last flashback was…dedicated to my parents who had taught me the value of faith. Them who taught me everything of God…and the value of hardships and punishments in a person's life. For those of you who are Christians, Catholic or otherwise, you'd notice that I had taken the idea and some excerpts from the poem "Footprints in the Sand." by Mary Stevenson. **

**I learnt that when I was a kid. I was nine at the time. **

**Again, I wish everyone out there a heartfelt Merry Christmas…**


End file.
